Tricksters and Gods
by sakurademonalchemist
Summary: Loki's in for it now. Odin has had enough and has banished him to Earth to relearn some lessons. Too bad he hadn't paid attention to where Loki ended up. Now Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived, has to deal with memories that aren't his own while he gets his revenge on those who sought to use him as a weapon. Can Harry regain what he lost, or will his past self take control first?
1. Chapter 1

Loki looked around him without any mirth. He had failed to destroy those meddlesome humans that his brother so loved, and he had failed to keep the Tesseract. He had little doubt his crimes would earn imprisonment...Odin could never bear to lose his youngest _son_.

"Loki, since you show no remorse towards your actions against the humans or your family, I sentence you to banishment until you learn to repent for your crimes. You shall not be welcome on Asgard or any worlds known until your majority or your memories are restored to you. Your magic shall be bound to mortal limits, and your status as Prince of Asgard withheld until you are fit to return among us," said Odin, slamming his staff onto the floor.

He used a little too much energy and ended up turning Loki into an infant child in 1978...in Britain.

* * *

Harry James Potter was not your average child. For one thing, he was able to create doubles of himself the fourth time he burned his hand cooking his 'family' a meal. After that he tended to roam around the neighborhoods to avoid his own home.

For another he was a wizard. Not just any wizard though, but the boy-who-lived.

And he hated that nickname.

Harry had long since made a point that anyone who seeks to use that damnable nickname would have to pay a fine of three knuts. The goblins, when told of his plan to make that name one that they hated as much as he did, laughed openly at the trick.

Part of the reason why the Weasly family were 'in the red' so to speak was because of that stunt when he was seven. No one had told them that the goblins automatically deducted the fine from anyone not cleared to use it by Harry himself.

When he was 12, Harry set a Fidilius charm around the damn nickname once he found it. Now the only ones who could talk about it were those who were in the know by the secret keeper...in this case Harry.

He loved watching them try to talk about him behind his back when they couldn't utter certain words or phrases. The people were such sheep that they didn't even realize what he had done.

At age fifteen, Harry had enough of their foolishness. He was ready to leave the magical world of Britain at any time, should he be given reason to do so.

He looked past the identical copies of Privet Drive and sneered. He had high hopes to be made prefect this year over Draco, considering it was his fault Draco was disliked by their housemates.

The little fool didn't even realize he was being played by Harry the entire time, and neither did that pig Ronald.

Harry had been locked inside his room yet again, though unknown to Petunia and Vernon he had long since worked out a way out of the room itself by popping the bolts holding the hinges in and replacing them with convincing fakes that would open when he wanted a few days into his 'new' room when he first got his letter.

He would have starved very quickly if he hadn't thought of that trick, though the multiple locks he later had to jam in such a way that he could pop them back into place made it harder. Harry had always been good at manipulating locks and doors. Hedwig, his beloved companion, hooted in boredom and irritation. She hated cages far more than he did, and they had shared many an evening just flying around Hogwarts.

While he was terrified of lightning, and rightly so after an incident when his cousin had locked him out when he was seven and he had been struck not once, but twice, flying was another matter.

Harry peered across the street where the wizard had fallen asleep and smirked. He had noticed those foolish watchers ever since the second day, and had noted an increase of Ms. Figg showing up far too often to ask him for tea.

He was not an oblivious child. He knew that something was up.

Which was why he was going to enact a rather elaborate plan to find one of his relatives across the ocean. He had over heard, when he was a child, about his mysterious cousins in the Grey family and their 'freak' daughter Jean, who he now suspected to be a mutant.

Harry waited until night fall when his guard would have a twenty minute window before they switched and acted as though he had fallen asleep.

In reality he had picked the lock on Hedwig's cage and donned his cloak. She knew the plan, as he had described it to her in great detail what he had in mind and had long since prepared for this eventuality by packing while he was still in Hogwarts. He had claimed that the death of Cedric had been too fresh for him and had begged off attending the feast for the night. Blaise had looked at him knowingly and said nothing.

Everything he valued enough to keep was in his expanded bag which he had gotten when he 'replaced' his trunk after it had been broken into when he was twelve. He still had no idea how the hell Ginny Weasly had gotten into the tower or his room, which he had warded extensively, when she was from a rival house.

Harry, as a Slytherin, disliked it when such annoyances cropped up. And he was a Slytherin to the core. Even Draco admitted that their second year, when he activated one of his contingency plans after Ginny successfully broke into their tower, though how they had yet to discover.

If Ginerva Weasly had any illusions that he would accept her as Lady Potter when they were of age to married, they were broken that night when he discovered her presence in his room. The word thief had been branded on her back and had only been removed once the year had ended and the diary itself destroyed. Harry had been the one to remove it, but he had broken her childish dreams and alerted her that if she continued to persist in the illusion that he would be her husband later then her family would be so in debt that it would be unlikely that they would ever dig themselves out. They were barely making ends meet as it was.

As it was, the only ones out of the Weasly clan he willingly associated with were the twins and two oldest brothers. Bill was an excellent source of information when it came to goblin cultures, and Charlie enjoyed speaking about his charges.

* * *

Harry crept out of the house and once he was far enough that the other watcher wouldn't see him, conjured a taxi. Bill had been quite helpful in telling him how to summon the magical cabs instead of the less than pleasant Knight Bus.

"Where to governor?" asked the cabbie, a muggleborn by the looks of it.

"The second nearest Gringotts branch. I have no desire to deal with the hustle and bustle of Diagon," said Harry frankly.

"Slytherin?" asked the cabbie before he put the car in gear.

"One who has never once spoken a word against the mundane born, and indeed hexes anyone stupid enough to utter the word 'mudblood' in my presence. Malfoy was most displeased when he learned why I had been hexing him so frequently," said Harry with a drawl.

"Which Malfoy?"

"Younger, sadly. The older apparently knows what the word 'tact' means. Though I did hex Lucius Malfoy's hair a most garish pink when he nearly got me killed."

The cabbie snickered evilly.

"You're alright for a snake kid. Was a Badger meself," said the cabbie.

"I prefer the Puff's to the Lions in all honestly. While their general niceness is a bit grating, they aren't all bigots like half the lion house or nosy as the 'Claws. And don't get me started on my own house. If I hadn't shown that I was fully prepared to hex anyone who pissed me off, they would have eaten me alive," said Harry honestly. What was it about cab drivers that made people chatty?

"So what sort of music you like?" asked the cabbie.

"Irish, ironically enough. Particularly that group called the Irish Tenors. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy Linkin Park, but sometimes it's nice to hear singing without having your ear shouted off by a poorly tuned instrument."

"Favorite song?"

"_The Green Fields of France_, which was based on a visit to a fallen soldier's grave named Willie MacBride. It was sad, but a fitting tribute to a fallen soul," said Harry.

Finally they reached the nearest Gringotts branch Harry tipped the man ten galleons, five more than the fee had been considering the meter and he sped off.

After that it took him two hours to find out where his mystery cousin, one Jean Grey, lived and to arrange a meeting in New York. Apparently she was one of the few mutants that the goblins took note of because she was related to Lily Evans, wife of James Potter.

There was no way he was staying in England, not if Voldemort had returned. He knew exactly where that road led, and he wanted no part of it.

He was not their bloody martyr.

* * *

Jean sipped her drink while waiting for her cousin. To be perfectly honest she was shocked that any of her family would willingly associate with her after they learned of her power. Her boyfriend, Scott, sat next to her comfortingly.

"When does his plane get in?" asked Scott.

"It just landed," said Jean, her powers overhearing the thoughts of the passengers. Surprisingly she couldn't catch a hint of her mystery cousin.

Fifteen minutes after it landed, she caught a glimpse of her mystery cousin. He took one look at her hair and immediately honed in.

"You must be Jean. I'm Harry," he said politely, shaking her hand.

"Scott Summers," said her boyfriend.

"Charmed. Hmm? I see the report about you being a natural psychic wasn't lying. Don't look so alarmed, I have nothing against others with a unique genetic quirk. One of my uncles happens to be a werewolf and I get along perfectly fine with him," said Harry.

"Why can't I read your thoughts?"

Harry tapped his head.

"Mental barriers and dampeners. One of my teachers had a rather disturbing habit of listening in to the minds of young children just to keep them in line. The second I heard a rumor about it I researched how to make a barrier. No one can read my mind without my say-so," said Harry proudly.

"You really have nothing against mutants?" asked Scott quietly.

"So long as they aren't trying to kill me, we'll have no problems. I've had enough racial bias to last me a lifetime thanks to my so-called aunt thank you," said Harry flatly.

* * *

"Welcome to the Institute Harry."

"I have to say, this place is interesting enough to rival Hogwarts. Nowhere near as big though."

"My name is Charles Xavier. You already know your cousin Jean, and her boyfriend Scott. This is Aurora Monroe," said Xavier.

"Pleasure to meet you Ma'am," said Harry. Jean looked highly amused at something.

"May I ask why you fled Britain?"

"Are you aware of the terrorists and mass attacks on people in the seventies? The man responsible for them came back last fall and if I had stayed I would have ended up in a war zone. I have no desire to be forced into a fight that I have nothing to do with," said Harry bluntly.

"Ah...If I may, would you allow me to see your memories? It would answer a lot of questions and relieve some of my worries."

"Concerned I'm a mutant-hater?" said Harry amused. After dealing with Petunia and Vernon for fourteen years, he had enough of that nonsense.

"Among other things," admitted Xavier.

Harry lowered some of his mental barriers, enough for Xavier to 'read' all of his memories for the past five months or so and to see the Dursley family in all their 'glory'. That was more than enough to satisfy Xavier's interest.

"I'm sorry you had to suffer the loss of a classmate."

"I have always gotten along well with the house of the loyal and hardworking, and the fact I could give them the name and picture of his killer had only proved that I cared. I even stole his wand so that he would have to procure another," said Harry sadly. While Cedric hadn't been his friend, per say, he had been a good and honorable man.

Harry had done his best so that his parents would at least have a chance to bury him honorably.

"So he's good to stay?" asked Jean.

"He's free to stay. I saw no resentment or anger towards mutants, just indifference."

"Guess we'll show you to your room then..." said Jean.

"All I ask is that I don't end up with someone who snores," said Harry flatly. Her lips quirked.

"I believe we can arrange that much."

* * *

"Hi, I'm Bobby."

"Harry."

"So what's your power?"

"Too ranged to tell honestly. I can make illusionary doubles and eventually turn into an animal...oh, and I can talk to snakes like it's the Queen's English."

"Seriously?"

"Help me find a snake and I'll show you."

Bobby grinned. His new roommate was going to be fun to have around he could just tell!

* * *

Scott ran into the room when he heard the screams from some of the girls.

It took him five seconds to find out why...a few harmless garden snakes had someone gotten into the mansion. Then he heard the snickering.

"Oh dear lord, not another one," said Scott.

Bobby and Harry were clearly behind the prank. Harry walked into the room and hissed lowly. The snakes immediately slithered up his arms.

"Well at least you won't be drawing too much suspicion around here. Snake-talking is relatively normal compared to the others...though you two are going to explain to Jean why I had to leave the room," he said dryly.

"Tell her I was making my monthly offering to my patron god."

Scott blinked at that.

"You have a patron god?"

"Most who follow the old ways of magic do. In my case I follow some of the more reasonable Scandinavian beliefs, namely the Norse ones. Everyone back home knew I was a devout follower of Loki. No one has ever cared before," said Harry with a shrug.

"You actually _practice_ the Norse religion?" asked Scott incredulous.

"Considering the fact my dad, uncle and godfather were notorious pranksters in their youth?" said Harry with a roguish grin.

Scott pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You are going to explain tomorrow what that means. In the meantime, could you set the snakes outside?" he asked.

"Sure. They were only doing it to look at the girls anyway... I swear most snakes are glorified perverts," snorted Harry.


	2. Chapter 2

Harry found himself in a room explaining patiently that he was a follower of the older religions, namely that of Loki. At most he would celebrate during important days and play a minor prank once a month, or if he was really bored a big one.

At least Harry had a cover story for leaving England. He could claim that he had trouble controlling his ability to speak to snakes and it had drawn unwanted attention. None of the other students would even notice his presence now.

He was just another 'mutant' just one with more than a single power. And he liked it.

* * *

_Two years after leaving Britain..._

"What's this MRA nonsense about?" asked Harry.

"It's some stupid registration thing for mutants. They want us to out ourselves to the general public," said Bobby in disgust.

Harry blinked.

"Isn't that the same bullshit Hitler did to the Jews in Germany before World War Two started?"

They had recently covered that war and Harry had taken more than a passing interest in one of the aspects...specifically that of HYDRA and the mentions of an odd energy.

He had gotten reports of it from the American Ministry and according to rumor HYDRA had been using some sort of odd cube device that had unlimited energy. For some reason it stuck in his head long after he had finished his homework on the subject. Like a half forgotten memory of something.

"So what are you going to do now that you've passed those weird tests?"

"I was thinking of applying to a college. I heard there was an open spot for interns out near New Mexico," said Harry.

Another thing that had been bugging him was the name Jane Foster.

"Sure you'll be able to handle it?" teased Bobby.

"Why not? It's not like I haven't completed my magical education, or my normal one plus what Xavier insists we learn before we go out to the normals," said Harry.

"So are you going with Dr. Gray to this little meeting about the Registration Act?"

"I'm going as moral support and possibly act as the one to make counter arguments. Apparently I'm better at making reasonable debates than even the Professor," said Harry with a shrug.

Which was a bit of an understatement. Harry was the go-to mutant for getting out of trouble, and some of the kids had jokingly said his mutant name should be Silvertongue with how good he was at getting people to see his point of view. Strangely that name actually struck a cord with him, though he had no idea why.

* * *

Jean was up at the podium explaining mutation to a room full of politicians, most of whom didn't know anything about the mutant issue. Senator Kelly brought up some of the more noted mutants, most of which had already been brought to the mansion after being found out.

By the time he got to his Registration Act, Jean had already opened a link to her cousin. She would need his smooth talking skills to keep this from getting out of hand.

"Senator Kelly, are you a fan of history by any chance?" she asked.

"I fail to see what this has to do with your report Doctor Gray," said Kelly with a sneer.

"It is a fact that before World War Two, Hitler and the Nazi party were extremely bias against anyone who didn't fit their ideal of a perfect German. Gypsies, Jews, anyone who failed to fit their Aryan profile was persecuted. It is well known that before the Holocaust, Jews were forced to wear a Star of David on their clothing to identify their faith."

"I don't see what this has to do with..."

"It's also true that before the Civil Rights Act that African Americans were segregated simply because of the color of their skin. Over a hundred years ago women weren't even allowed to vote."

"Get to the point Dr. Gray. The good people here don't need their precious time squandered by a history lesson," said Senator Kelly.

However several people were looking at her with interest. In each instance she described, the same thing occurred. Persecution in the name of something that the victims had no control over.

"This Mutant Registration Act that you are proposing is almost identical to what the Jews were put through simply because of their faith shortly before the Holocaust. Mutants are in the minority compared to normal humans, however in America there are many laws which protect minority groups from being persecuted simply because of something they had no control over. Tell me Senator Kelly...are you really prepared to persecute a minority group simply because of a unique quirk in their genetic make up that they have no control over?"

Senator Kelly looked very surprised at the accusation.

"Doctor Gray, I hope for your sake you are not accusing me of being a racist!" he said angrily.

"The definition of a racist is believing you are superior to another simply because of the circumstances of someone's birth. Tell me Senator Kelly...if you truly believe mutants are inferior, how does that not make you a racist? These people have no control over their genetic make up any more than you have control over the fact that you were born a male."

She had him there. There was no way in hell Kelly could promote the bill which would force Mutants to register who they were and what their powers were without looking like a racist, something that wouldn't go over well at all with the voters.

Once the meeting was over, Harry noted that several Senators had agreed with some of the points he had made concerning mutants.

By the Constitution alone they should have been protected since they qualified as a minority group. Something Senator Kelly failed to realize, as had many others.

"That was very well played," said an older man.

Harry looked at him. He noticed an odd tattoo on his left arm and knew what that meant.

"Sorry if I brought up bad memories, but the sheer ignorance that bill encouraged made me sick. I happen to be good friends with mutants and I honestly never saw anything different between them and a regular human," said Harry.

"My name is Eric Lencher."

"Magneto. I've heard of you. You're one of those that support Mutant superiority and try to dominate the normal folks," said Harry.

"I see my old friend Charles has taught you well."

"He's an okay teacher, but his methods are fatally flawed. Still, he's better than Dumbledore ever was," said Harry.

Magneto paused, as he knew that name.

"You're a magical?"

"I hide as a mutant because I was being persecuted simply because of bad luck. Besides, Jean is actually my cousin on my mother's side."

That surprised him.

"Beyond that I actually have no quarrel with you or your cause. In fact I find Mystique rather fascinating, as her power appears to be a nonmagical manifestation of a known magical gift called Metamorphamagi. I believe one of my paternal cousins has the same ability, though I haven't seen Tonks in years."

He had the same gift, he just didn't use it.

"Fascinating that a wizard would defend the rights of a mutant," said Eric.

"I would be a hypocrite if I didn't. Wizards and mutants have a great deal in common in that the normal human fears them over something they have no control over. And like wizards, there are groups such as yours which promote racial superiority in retaliation."

"I do hope for your sake you are not comparing my Brotherhood to the Death Eaters," said Eric in warning.

"Just a few similarities. For one thing, while your group does promote mutant superiority, it does not go out of it's way to target innocent bystanders without being provoked first. Death Eaters target children and ordinary people, the Brotherhood of Mutants ignores them unless they do something to anger them first. So yes, while you and your group have several common factors in your doctrine, it is the _intent_ which separates your respective factions," said Harry calmly.

Eric blinked. The boy had just compared him to those idiot Death Eaters while in the same breath complimenting him and his group for not targeting innocents.

Eric might have worried about the boy becoming a politician were it not for the fact he simply didn't care for superiority because of birth. Well that and the fact that the boy was British born meant that while he might rise to the ranks of an effective politician he would never become what the mutants needed...the president.

There were other alternatives to that though...

"Tell me Potter, have you ever considered becoming a lawyer?"

Harry grinned evilly.

* * *

"I thought you wanted to take that internship in New Mexico?" asked Jean. She was half amused, half terrified.

Ever since Magneto made that odd comment to Harry, he had been tearing through law books like no tomorrow. Thanks to his eidetic memory, he now knew most of the laws of America.

Too bad he had to go through the same amount of years as everyone else, unless he managed to make a name for himself.

Either way he was now the go-to for getting out of legal trouble for mutants.

Which was why Jean was actually worried...Harry was an 'EOV' according to the younger mutants...an Equal Opportunity Viper. This image was _not_ helped in the least when he somehow managed to get his hands on a pit viper which he wore around his neck like a tie.

The reason why she was somewhat freaked out was because when he was in a bad mood, Harry could be downright vicious with his tongue.

On the other hand, he could be charming when he had to be. Which was why he had his own mutant codename.

Harry "Viper" Potter.

It was a common phrase around the Institute that if you pissed off the Viper you would get bit.

"So I heard you're taking the exams next week. Any thoughts?"

"They're letting me take online courses, since I was accepted as an intern with Ms. Foster. As long as my grades don't fall below accepted levels, I can work on my skills during the day while I work on the stars at night."

That was the great thing about interning in New Mexico...Jane Foster's work area was less than fifteen miles from a nearby college where they had law degrees. He could work on being a lawyer while he helped Ms. Foster in her attempts to understand the universe.

Having two very high level degrees would only look good on a resume later.

"When do you leave?"

"I'm taking the entrance exam first. If I pass, then I get into law school without having to go through college first. If I don't, then I fall back on my internship and get that degree before I try again," shrugged Harry.

Always have a back-up.

Harry went ahead to New Mexico where his recently bought trailer was waiting for him. It was less of a trailer than a small mansion thanks in part to liberal use of the expansion charms. It could also be considered a portable fortress with half the spells Harry had added to it.

Which was why he almost missed meeting the infamous Wolverine.

* * *

Harry was about to go finish packing after making a quick lunch of some sandwiches when he saw a man looking very disoriented wandering around. The moment he ducked behind a pillar, he smirked.

"You know it's rather pointless to hide in a school with at least three well known telepaths," he said bluntly.

"Wha...where am I?" he demanded.

"Xavier's Institute for the Gifted, I/E mutants. I take it you were brought here unconscious?"

He didn't say anything, but Harry could tell from his surprised look that had in fact been the case.

"Which means you woke up in the infirmary under the main school and were likely given sedatives due to injuries. No wonder you're disoriented. Would you prefer to eat first or meet the Professor?" he asked.

Hearing the rumble of the Wolverine's stomach, Harry snorted.

"Follow me to the kitchens. Just to warn you, we don't have any liquor here since the Professor isn't much of a drinker," he said.

"Damn."

"The second I hit twenty one, I am so drinking everyone under the table in the first bar I find," said Harry grumbling.

In England he would legally be allowed to drink anyway...hell, fifteen year olds were able to get their hands on firewhiskey all the time.

Despite being an English citizen allowed to live in the US, they refused to acknowledge the lower age limit in bars, despite having his passport and sworn statements otherwise.

He had not been pleased when he learned about that. Fortunately he had ways around it.

Thank Loki for aging potions and confundus charms.

Once Logan had been fed and watered, Harry lead him to the Professor.

After that he finished packing. He was gone by the next day.

* * *

"Hey short stuff," said Darcy grinning. Harry scowled. He hated that nickname, but he loved Darcy's sense of humor...when he aimed it at anyone _but_ him.

The two were often pranking each other in between work and his classes.

There was a sudden shout from Jane.

"DARCY! HARRY! GET IN HERE NOW!" she roared.

Harry grinned evilly. Jane was the unfortunate victim of a minor prank war he had started with Darcy yesterday. She had been too caught up in his notes to overhear that particular conversation and Harry took full advantage of it. Selvig, the coward, had made a point to avoid the area while he looked up old Norse legends after hearing who Harry worshipped.

Mostly so he wouldn't be lost whenever Harry made the odd reference to a legend or two.

Darcy looked at the grinning Harry and had to ask "What did you do to piss her off?"

"I left some sites on her computer...she must have stumbled onto one of my little traps I left," he said.

Walking in, Darcy tried not to laugh when she saw the rather horrifying video containing two men and several items she would never look at the same way twice. Jane looked furious.

"Which one of you left this on here?"

"It's your fault for not paying attention. Selvig heard me challenge Darcy yesterday... or having you noticed he's been missing since breakfast?" countered Harry.

Jane looked irritated...and made a note to hit Eric for not warning her before he ran off.

"Which legend was he looking at today?" asked Darcy.

"Said he was going to look up Thor for some reason or another. Don't see why, Thor was a complete idiot in Norse mythology," said Harry grumpily.

For some reason, even the mere mention of Thor tended to annoy him. And the few fools who tried to capitalize his dislike of thunderstorms usually ended up on the wrong end of his acid tongue once he found them.

He wasn't _afraid_ of thunderstorms per say, but he did get rather irritable whenever one came by. It was part of the reason why he had chosen to move to New Mexico...the arid climate wasn't very good at producing rain storms, let alone ones with lightning involved. And despite his scar, Harry really, really didn't like lightning.

As Harry and Darcy exchanged sniping comments (with no real anger behind them...it was all in good fun) Harry undid the first trap Jane had triggered, and the second to keep her off guard.

He had left numerous traps in her computers, and to be honest it was too amusing to remove all of them.


	3. Chapter 3

Harry stepped up to the podium with a smirk. He had graduated early with full marks and the highest honors...and had passed the bar exam with a near perfect score.

He was now legally a lawyer...and the fun part was that he had registered himself as a barrister in England a month after passing the exam again. So he could operate in both countries.

Oh the fun he would have ripping magicals to shreds using only his words and the fact he knew they were magical.

It would probably take less time to join the magical courts, thanks to the fact that they knew what time turners were.

Harry gave a short speech, one that made a few people laugh, before he left the podium.

* * *

"Whatcha got there short stuff?" asked Darcy.

Jane had been surprised and relieved that Harry had remained on her team after he officially became a lawyer. In his words, he had put too much time into his degree to give it up just because he had finished his law degree.

"It's a book on a rather obscure set of laws. I love seeing the look of shock on people's faces when they realize they were outmaneuvered completely," said Harry grinning evilly.

In this case he was reading a book on goblin clan laws.

Suddenly his eyes fell on a rather old law that concerned right of conquest...and he began to cackle. Very evilly.

"Why do I get the feeling you'll be gone for a while once you finish your degree?" asked Darcy.

"Revenge is sweet!" cackled Harry.

* * *

_In Asgard..._

Heimdall shuddered. This was supposed to be Loki's punishment, but he was having far too much fun with it. How was Odin supposed to know that the humans had a job which was uniquely suited to someone of Loki's temperament?

He watched as Loki went back to England and began a series of events that would lead to the Magical communities ultimate downfall and reintegration with the normal humans.

* * *

Ragnok looked at the wizard in disbelief.

"You want us to ally with the _muggles_?" he said in disgust.

"Let's face it, the purebloods are just pushing around old gold and calling it profit. However according to goblin laws, if the head and the heir of a magical line are declared legally insane, they lose all rights to their vaults and the gold goes to the one who set up their fall. The prize of conquest as it were," said Harry.

"I fail to see how this should convince us to write up a treaty with the muggles."

"The law makes no mention of the court having to be magical in origin. If you snap a wizard or witch's wand, they would have great difficulty proving that they are telling the truth...and with how out of date the magicals are..." said Harry grinned evilly.

Ragnok stared at the rather arrogant wizard. Then he started to cackle, evilly at that.

With how out of touch the magical community was with it's muggle counterpart, setting up the purebloods to be arrested and declared insane _after _a treaty with the muggles would insure that they lose their precious gold.

"We want a percentage of the gold," said Ragnok.

"Deal. Twenty percent of the gold, but I get all the books after you've copied them for your clans. And first pick of magical artifacts."

"Agreed. Now, can you set up a meeting with the muggles?" asked Ragnok eagerly.

"Easily," said Harry.

The two shook on it, and with that the magical communities self-governed state began it's fall. All because they chose to anger the wrong wizard.

* * *

A week later a secret treaty between the Muggle Queen of England and the Goblin tribes was signed. Because of how the wizard felt about goblins, the office that dealt with such matters was unable to warn the Minister about this treaty.

The first victim to fall prey to this swift attack was none other than one Lucius Malfoy.

Harry personally snapped his wands and destroyed his portkeys.

Harry straightened his tie and adjusted what appeared to be a viper pin to his lapel. He was considered a junior barrister, but considering who he was up against it didn't really matter.

As a magical lawyer, the Queen had hired him to deal with the magicals and bring them back to the twentieth century by force. He started by having a standing order for the coppers to snap any sticks found on people who had trouble blending it in half. They were to confiscate anything on their persons and put it away in storage.

Any Death Eater stupid enough to operate in a muggle-heavy environment quickly found themselves on the wrong side of an iron jail. And since iron absorbed magic, apparition was impossible. A pair of special magic-restricting cuffs insured that wandless magic was made impossible as well.

Lucius Malfoy took one look at the prosecution and became mad with rage. He had to be restrained while Harry tore him a new one on the stand.

Because of how outdated magicals were, it took little time for the defense to have the Malfoy head declared legally insane. It didn't help that Malfoy kept calling them worthless muggles, or that his family name wasn't worth anything outside of the magical communities.

Harry gleefully (it was well hidden) had the man sentenced to a remote psychiatric hospital and the records sealed.

His next victim was Draco, who had the bad luck of seeing him on the street and tried to hex him in full view of the Scotland Yard.

He was arrested, tried, and sent to a different hospital.

Harry had a good deal of trouble holding back his evil cackles when he went to visit the goblins after that trial. Once in the bank the goblins even joined him in maniacal laughter.

The Malfoys were only the first Dark families to feel the bite of the Viper's tongue.

* * *

"Everyone, I have horrible news. Harry has returned to England at long last...but he has gone dark," said Dumbledore solemnly.

Sirius listened to his words for about three seconds before he snorted in disbelief.

"Yeah right. Unless your definition of being dark means that he's the best damn barrister in England, I'll have to ask you to pass whatever the hell it is you're smoking," said Sirius in disagreement.

"He's killed off four Dark families!" said Dumbledore.

"No he hasn't," said Sirius with assurance.

"What do you mean Black?" asked Moody.

"I mean my dear godson has found the funniest damn loophole in goblin law that I have ever seen and he's using it against us. Coincidentally I would advise locking your wands and brushing up on recent muggle history lest you get bit as well," said Sirius.

The second he found out how Harry had gotten Lucius and Draco declared insane, he had done the intelligent thing and immediately went into a local library under disguise and started brushing up on muggle topics. He had advised his fellow pranksters to do the same, and the twins had started reading up on muggle achievements during their free time.

And just to be sure, they had locked up their real wands in their vaults and had started to use a poor replacement just in case they accidentally got caught by Harry's web. With the new mandate to snap all wands if caught, they didn't want to loose their weapons just because they were careless.

"What?" said Moody, his eye stopping on Black.

"Harry found a law in the goblin clans that said and I quote 'should the head and heir of a clan be declared legally insane by the courts, their vaults are forfeited to the one who revealed the weakness in the bloodline'. In short if you get caught, you'll be tried and declared insane unless you start studying now," said Sirius.

"This is preposterous! The Wizangamot wouldn't declare Lucius or Draco Malfoy insane!" said Dumbledore.

"It didn't say the court in question had to be _magical_ in origin," said a voice smugly.

Any whirled around to find a very smug Harry Potter looking at them.

"How did you get in here?" shrieked Molly Weasly.

"Next time you let a known thief and petty criminal join your little group, make sure he has the sense to destroy the paper that lets people know where the secret hideout is first. That is, if you ever escape the nuthouse when I'm through with you," said Harry flatly.

"Scotland Yard! You're all under arrest!" came the voices.

Sirius knew that Harry at least liked him well enough not to be too hard on him, which was why he allowed the Yard to put him in handcuffs without a fight.

He was really glad that he had at least talked to Narcissa after she and the rest of the Death Eaters had been kicked out of Malfoy Manor once Harry took possession of the Malfoy's properties.

* * *

"Next on the docket, the people against Sirius Black. Out of curiosity exactly how many of these cultists are you planning to drag through my court Mr. Potter?" asked the judge.

"As many as it takes to get the message through your honor. These people are taking children from their families and brainwashing them into believing that a minor psychic ability is in fact magic and then throwing them away," said Harry honestly.

The judge in question was one of those throwaways, one who had the common sense to keep up his muggle subjects, no matter how much time it had cost him. He was a Ravenclaw muggleborn with a grudge.

Which was why Harry had chosen him as the perfect person to help him get his revenge on the Pure Bloods and drag the magical communities kicking and screaming into the twentieth century. And to make things even better, he had brought Andromeda Tonks in as the Defense for the 'cultists' once he explained what he planned.

Andromeda Tonks was a pure blood, but she wasn't an idiot. Dumbledore was ruining them, and if it meant revealing their world in order to save it, she would pretend magic was fiction until the Ministry screwed up and broke their own laws. Well that and Harry was giving up a percentage to everyone in on his plan.

He got twenty-five percent of the gold, as did the judge, the goblins and Andromeda. Since it was all in goblin gold and in vaults not traceable by online banking, the muggles were unaware of these transactions.

And no, the irony of being paid in the same gold that once belonged to the bastards who had kicked him out was not lost on the judge. In the words of Harry, this was poetic justice. The gold was just a bonus.

"Sirius Black, you stand here accused of being apart of this...cult...that seems to thrive in removing eleven and twelve-year-old children from their homes and families and then throwing them back completely brainwashed about magic. You are also accused of killing thirteen people. How do you plead?"

"He pleads not guilty to the crime of first-degree murder, and asks the court for a plea bargain on the charge of kidnapping and brainwashing," said Andromeda.

"How does the Prosecution wish to proceed?"

"I call Sirius Black to the stand," he said.

Sirius walked up, swore an oath to speak only the god's honest truth, and sat down.

"Sirius Black, on the afternoon of November 2nd you confronted a man identified as Peter Pettigrew and then proceeded to blow up a gas main that killed thirteen innocent people. Is this true?" asked Andromeda.

"No. I did confront that traitor Peter, but I didn't blow up any gas lines," said Sirius.

"Could you tell the court what really happened then?" asked Harry.

"I went to check on Peter. He was one of three people who knew where my blood brother and his wife were hiding from the terrorist that went by the name of Voldemort because they had an infant son. When I heard they had been killed, I went to check on Peter because he had always been rather weak-minded. When I failed to find him in his safe house, I started looking for his body. I found him a day later, and when I went to confront him, he started screaming at how I had betrayed James and Lily, before he threw something on the ground. Next thing I knew there was an explosion and he had vanished. Realizing I had been tricked, I snapped," said Sirius honestly.

Sirius had common sense. He knew better than to mention magic, but that was in fact what happened.

"What of the fact that out of all the bodies, only a finger was found of Pettigrew?" asked Harry.

"The rat traitor cut it off himself. I don't know how he slipped away or managed to hide, but thanks to him I was thrown in a dark cell with only a tiny window for thirteen years by your so called cultists without even a trial," said Sirius darkly.

Harry stood up and looked at him in the eye.

"You admit to being part of this so called magic cult?"

"I have no love for them and I would gladly submit to any psychological exams if it meant being a free man again," said Sirius bluntly.

"I would like to present the court a picture of the 'remains' of one Peter Pettigrew," said Andromeda.

She brought up a picture, from the DMLE itself, and showed it to the court on the screen. It was a clean cut, made by a sharp knife at least and most certainly not done by an explosion.

The judge took an hour to examine the evidence. While Sirius Black was a pure blood, he was different from the rest in that he had been one of the few who offered him a kind word during school and had even pranked some of the annoying Slytherins because he kept up his muggle heritage.

"Sirius Black, upon examining the evidence and hearing sworn statements, I order you to undergo an evaluation at St. Peter's Clinic for a period of three months at least. If you can finish the evaluation in that time period, you are a free man. If not, you are ordered to remain there until you are of sound mind enough to rejoin society. Case Dismissed!"

Sirius walked out a somewhat free man. While he had avoided being stuck in a mental health clinic (thus falling under the same trap Lucius and multiple other pure bloods had), he still had to go through several tests before he could be declared sane of mind. Harry had even asked him the same questions he had asked Dolohov and the others, and unlike them he had been able to answer them without looking like an idiot.

Who knew that all he had to do to become a free man again was to go back to school and learn?

A few days later he ran into Harry outside the clinic.

"Having fun Sirius?" he said amused.

"Can I come watch you pull that stunt on Molly and Dumbledore?" he asked.

"Absolutely."

"I'm curious as to why you had me tried first though," said Sirius.

"Loki takes care of his own," was Harry's cryptic reply.

It had been Sirius who told him how to be a worshiper of Loki in the first place. Or at least fixed the rituals he went through so that he wasn't embarrassing himself. So getting Sirius through the courts first had been his way of repaying the man.

Black had at least avoided Harry's viper tongue.


	4. Chapter 4

Harry was in a good mood. Today was Dumbledore's day in court, and he had been anticipating this for days now.

It was simple really. The bastard had forced him to go through those ridiculous tests and had the worst tendency of sending a shrieking Hermione on him when he tried to avoid them. He had tolerated the girl's presence because he had no other choice at the time. This was his way of paying him back for all the headaches she had given him through school...and his way of proving to Dumbledore that despite forcing Harry to associate with people like Hermione Granger and Ron Weasly, he was still a snake all the way through.

"Albus Dumbledore, you stand accused of being part of this so called 'magic' cult and kidnapping countless children. How do you plead?" asked the judge.

"I wasn't aware being part of a cult was considered _illegal_," Dumbledore said calmly, looking at Harry specifically.

"Being part of a cult isn't considered a crime...but your particular cult is known for kidnapping children from their families and when they're through with brainwashing them, they throw them back into a world they are so unprepared for that they fall to the wayside," said Harry flatly.

It was a fact, that when a muggleborn was unable to find a job in the magical communities, they fell back into the muggle world. However seven years of only elementary school education took it's toll on their ability to get a job, and more often than not they were forced to become homeless or rely on the support of their muggle relatives who had trouble understanding why they had gone to such a special school and had nothing to show for it.

This was exactly what Harry was playing off of, and how he had been able to pull this off. The pure bloods had cast out the first generation magic users for years now, and now it was time for them to reap what they sowed.

The fact that they had tried and failed to use and cast him aside was just a bonus. He had no need of their gold.

"I call Hermione Granger to the stand," said Harry.

Since Hermione was considered a victim, it was unlikely she would be tried.

"Ms. Granger, it says here in your school transcripts that you were a very promising student. And yet when you turned eleven, you were 'accepted' into a prestigious school called Hogwarts. After that, all further records stop dead. Our investigation has revealed that no such school exists, and that this 'train' that takes the 'students' to the school is on a platform that isn't there."

Harry looked at her, his eyes glinting evilly.

"Could you explain how it is that you've managed to drop off the radar?" he asked.

Hermione saw her parents in the court and tried not to hyperventilate. Harry had tracked down and broken the memory spell she had put on them to keep them safe. They were pissed at what she had done, no matter what her reasons. They were also furious when they found out that her former friend was now the lead prosecutor trying all the magicals for illegally taking children, brainwashing them, and then throwing them out once they finished their school.

When given the facts of how few first generation witches and wizards were able to get any decent jobs in the magical world, they had been appalled and horrified that they had allowed their daughter go.

"Hogwarts is a very old school. They still use torches and they don't exactly have any computers there," she said carefully.

"Ah yes, Hogwarts, a school that is supposedly held in a castle by a lake. According to the rumors, they have no actual heating systems in place and some of their _classes_ take part in a moldy dungeon. And from all reports, most of the students have no idea of what a computer is, much less what the internet is for," said Harry with a derisive snort.

Hermione had no way of countering that argument. It frustrated her how out of date they were, but it wasn't like she could do anything about it.

"Tell me, Ms. Granger, how many of these so called 'pure bloods' at this school know who first landed on the moon?" he asked.

Hermione had no answer to that.

"How many of them even know what a gun is?" he continued.

"Only those who took muggle studies," she answered.

"Ah, yes, muggles. The term these...people...use for those without whatever gift the cultists claim is magic. Tell me Ms. Granger, how does having this gift of what you people call Magic make you superior to the rest of the populace? If memory serves me, this same problem was an issue at a Congressional debate in America over a recent bill called the Mutant Registration Act, which had been revoked because it was considered racist by the more level headed senators and infringed on basic human rights."

And that right there was another point Harry had decided to make. Having magic did not make you superior...it just made you a different kind of mutation.

Hermione found herself outclassed and outgunned by Harry.

"Ladies and Gentlemen of Great Britain," Harry addressed the cameras now, "We have here a bright young woman who was taken in by these so called _magicals_ and brainwashed into believing that this power they call magic is the best way to accomplish simple tasks like washing dishes or getting a book off the shelf. These people are not to be coddled, but rather pitied. They are so terrified of the reaction of god-fearing people such as yourself that they willingly close themselves off and become little more than cavemen with sticks."

Seeing Molly Weasly bristle at that description, Harry continued. He wasn't a barrister right now, but someone that many who had met him at least once feared... Right now he was the Viper, someone who championed the outcasts and the rejects, and tore down walls without care for the consequences.

"Thank you Ms. Granger, that will be all for now."

Hermione walked off that witness box looking horrified and defeated as she sat next to her parents. She just had a rude wake-up call, and she knew Harry wasn't finished quite yet.

"I call Molly Weasly to the stand," said Andromeda.

Really, this was less of a case against Dumbledore but against the collective magical communities.

"Mrs. Weasly, it says here that you consider yourself a 'pure blood'. Could you explain that to the nice people?"

"You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Dragging honest folk up into court on trumped up charges!" shrieked Molly.

"Mrs. Weasly, please explain what a 'pure blood' is by your definition," he said patiently.

Molly harrumphed, before she answered the question.

"A pure blood is someone who has at least two magical grandparents," she answered him.

"And someone with only one set is by your definition a 'half-blood'?" he asked calmly.

She nodded.

"Tell me Mrs. Weasly, what were the words spoken by Neal Armstrong when he first stepped on the moon?" he asked.

"Don't be ridiculous. We've never been to the moon, and I don't know of anyone named Armstrong," said Molly derisively.

Noticing Hermione's open wince and the looks of incredulity on the audience, Molly realized she had just been played.

"Tell me Mrs. Weasly, do you know what a car is?"

"Some muggle invention. Really I don't know why Arthur bought it in the first place," she said.

"For the court I would like to present a bill of sale and ownership transfer to one Arthur Weasly for a Ford Angela," said Andromeda.

"Tell me Mrs. Weasly... what school did you send your seven children through when they reached five?" asked Harry.

"I home-schooled all of our children," she said.

"What job does your husband hold?"

"He's the head of the Misuse and Abuse of Muggle Artifacts in the Ministry of Magic," she said proudly.

"And how much does this earn your family on average?" asked Harry.

"He bring home twenty galleons a month," she said.

"For the courts, I would like to present a spread sheet of how much a 'galleon' which is supposedly a gold coin used for currency, is worth in pounds. According to you, Mrs. Weasly, your husband brings home at least one hundred pounds a month."

Seeing the appalled looks on the faces of the audience, Molly didn't seem to realize just how little that actually _was_. It didn't take a math genius to realize that the Weasly family only had twelve hundred pounds a year for a family of nine. It was a miracle they owned their land for such a small income.

"Mrs. Weasly, are you aware that the average 'muggle' working a dead end job such as a fast food clerk makes seven and a half pounds per hour? Which, according to this spreadsheet, means that they make more in a week than your husband does in a month. In fact the average desk clerk, a position a woman of your age and experience could easily obtain had you acquire the proper documents, makes eight and three quarters pound an hour. So tell me Mrs. Weasly, why exactly were you unable to send your children to primary school in light of these facts?" asked Harry flatly.

Molly looked like he had slapped her silly with a fish. Hearing that the average muggle made more than her husband did in a month was a hard blow, and so was the fact that had she actually applied herself, their family would have been better off.

Harry wasn't done just yet.

"I have, though use of the Queen's own spy network, had someone retrieve a copy of the average _Ministry_ worker's income for a month. According to this, the average income for someone working at this so-called Ministry of Magic is roughly five galleons for a department head, and six for their _Minister_. Yet according to an inquiry to the Prime Minister, no such organization exists on file. Also, thanks to a sworn statement from one Sirius Black, who you people claimed was a mass murderer and traitor, you threw him into a small dark cell with only a single window for light without even a trial for thirteen years. The amount of time allowed for arrest without trial is, according to the laws of that year, one week. During which time the accused is allowed an attorney, or allowed to speak in their defense."

Harry turned to the audience.

"However according to Black, not only did your _Ministry_ throw him into this...Azkaban prison...without even a trial, you also held him for thirteen years before he was finally able to escape on his own terms. And you people had the audacity to set a country-wide manhunt simply because you were too arrogant to even give him god-given day in court," spat Harry. It was clear how he felt about this miscarriage of justice.

Molly was silent. Realizing just how much they had missed out on had come as a hard blow.

"Tell me Mrs. Weasly, exactly how are those you claim are 'pure blooded' any better than the everyday common citizen?"

She had no answer to that.

"No further questions."

Molly left the stand, her usual strident voice silent for once. Andromeda and Harry went to get something to eat while they called a recess. In the meantime Harry prepared his next victim...Fred Weasly.

Fred and George had come in defense of their parents, but unlike the rest of the Order, they had at least tried to do things the muggle way after Sirius had warned them of what Harry was doing.

Getting part-time jobs at a gas station near the alley had been difficult, but entirely worth the extra cash they made in between running their shop. It was made infinitely easier when they asked Harry for help first.

* * *

"Court is in session," intoned the judge.

"I call to the stand Frederick Weasly," said Harry, smirking at the glare Fred shot him for using his proper name.

"It says here Frederick that you are what is known as a pure blood. Yet I have records that also state you and your brother George work as part-time gas station attendants. I thought pure bloods believed that those without this so-called gift were beneath them?" asked Harry.

"It's Fred, not Frederick," said Fred irritably, "And we don't think that mundanes are beneath us. We find them fascinating to be honest."

"Mundanes you say?" asked Harry.

"Don't know where that silly 'muggle' trend started, but it's pretty widely accepted."

"Tell me...Fred was it? Tell me Fred, what classes does this 'Hogwarts' have for those accepted?" he asked.

"Well there's potions, which from what George and I can tell is something like chemistry. Though we've had to stop using the pewter cauldrons when we read about lead poisoning. Then there's transfiguration, which is the art of changing one thing into another...and charms, which is what most people think when they talk about magic..."

As Fred listed the classes available and their nonmagical equivalent Harry's case against the magicals solidified. Especially when told that several classes were horribly out-of-date after they spent a few months in the muggle half of Britain as gas station attendants. They spent more time in the library looking up recent events than they ever did in Hogwarts looking up spells.

Harry had called up Fred for two reasons. One was to give the watching British a chance to see a world that had hidden themselves from the general public for centuries and to prove that the idea of a witch hunt was long gone. The other was to prove that while these people were horribly out of touch with the world around them, they weren't completely hopeless.

Fred was a pure blood wizard, but he had gone out of his way to learn about the world around him with minimal prompting and was open to the idea of integration.

Right as Harry was about to call Fred off the stand, the doors suddenly burst open revealing aurors. Apparently a muggleborn had been watching the live trial of Dumbledore and his precious Order and had alerted Madam Bones.

Unfortunately for the aurors, Harry had anticipated their arrival. The ones sent were captured by the waiting police and their wands removed.

The judge looked annoyed at the interruption.

"Mr. Potter, care to explain?" he asked, playing along to the script they had devised in case the Ministry took note of what was really happening.

"According to reports from Her Majesty's spy network, in the event that someone attempts to bring these...people...out into the open and reveal magic supposedly exists to the everyday person, they send these...Aurors...out to arrest the culprit and erase the memory of the mundane with a 'spell'. We have yet to figure out if they are using high-level telepaths to erase the memory or not," said Harry, playing to the script.

With the arrest of the aurors, things were finally starting to move forward.

Harry managed to end his questions for Fred just before the court let out for the day...something this big would definitely take several days before it finished... and all of the accused were sent to different areas and in a magic-proof set of rooms in different hotels under 24-hour guard.

The only ones he would allow to leave were those he had already called up. Hermione was placed under guard as well, mostly because she was in danger from a Death Eater attack...her house had a sniper detail if anyone came to attack her for speaking up.

The best part about this was that the Queen had agreed that the arrogance of the magicals had gone on far too long, and that this would be an excellent way to force them into the modern era. After he had showed her the unemployment statistics and the amount of first generation magicals sent home with little to show for their so-called education aside from a fancy stick and some books just because they weren't _pure_ enough...well, she had given him carte blanche to deal with them. She even allowed him to use her spies to insure that he got all the information he needed.

The last thing he needed was for him to be exposed as a magical...but that was unlikely as Harry had been taking online courses for years until he got his law degree.

That and he had spent good hard cash on falsifying his records and through his cousin had made it look like he had spent his years since he was eleven at the Institute. It helped that thanks to Harry, the mutants were slowly being recognized as a minority group in the US, which meant that they received certain protections from people who hated them out of misguided fear.

Hating mutants for being mutants was considered a crime just as bad as hating someone just because their parents were African American or Chinese. Several people had been arrested for that crime...and slowly word was getting out that mutants were not people that should be feared just because of a power they couldn't control.

The American Ministry at least showed some common sense and had even used the new trend to disguise the fact that magic existed by hiding it under the heading of a unique mutation.

It also didn't hurt that they had contacted Professor Xavier, a known mutant sympathizer, for advice.

Harry grinned as he looked out the window of his penthouse room in the motel. He was finally having his revenge, and legally to boot.


	5. Chapter 5

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* * *

Heimdall approached Odin with concern and confusion. He alone was aware that Loki had been sent to the past as punishment for a crime that had yet to happen. However Loki was having more enjoyment than a punishment rightly warranted, especially for the crime he had committed.

Which was why he had been conflicted on whether or not he should speak up to his King.

"Come Heimdall. What troubles you?" asked Odin.

"My King, I have noticed for years now that Loki had been sent to Midgard as punishment for a crime he has committed in the near future. However from my observation Loki's punishment does not appear to be...well, a punishment at all."

"What crime did he commit?" asked Odin.

"He lead the Chitauri in battle against the humans and Thor, and lost. He also promised the Tesseract in exchange for revenge against Asgard."

"What was his punishment?" asked Odin. It was well known Heimdall saw both present and future.

"Banishment from Asgard and all worlds known until his majority or repentance. However that time has long past and Loki has not returned."

"What is the problem?" asked Odin. He failed to see why Heimdall looked, well, confused.

"Because my lord, Loki is still tormenting the humans...and they're _paying_ him to do it!"

"...What?"

* * *

Harry walked into the courtroom. For some reason he noted two additions that hadn't been there yesterday that set him on edge.

One was a giant of a man with dark skin and piercing gaze, the other was tall, but had an old and tired feel. He had an eye-patch over one eye and seemed to be observing the situation.

These two put him on edge more than Dumbledore ever had, even when he was attempting Legilmency. For some reason he had an unusually strong natural resistance to the art, and not even Snape could explain why.

There was also, according to the potion's master, some sort of memory block on him. One he could not break no matter what they tried.

Harry went up to his chair and waited for Judge Henrickson to arrive.

"All rise," intoned the bailiff.

Today he would be calling on Dumbledore.

"Be seated," said Henrickson. He waved at Harry, who stood.

"I would like to call Albus Dumbledore to the stand," said Harry bluntly.

Dumbledore went up to the stand bemusedly, as if this was just a big misunderstanding that would work itself out and they could all go home later.

He had no idea how vicious Harry could be when he was on a roll.

"Albus Dumbledore, according to these reports you are the headmaster of this supposed magic school, correct?" said Harry calmly.

"That is correct."

"You were also the 'Supreme Mugwump' of the magical courts, and a member of the ICW, which is supposedly like the united nations until recently."

"Correct," he said.

"Tell me, Mr. Dumbledore, are you aware of the unemployment rate in Britain?" he asked as smooth as silk.

"I'm not sure how relevant that is," replied Dumbledore.

Harry brought up something on his magical-laptop. It showed unemployment rates for the British Empire going back all the way to the start of the 'Blood Wars' as he had taken to calling Voldemort's temper tantrums.

"Take a good long look at this Dumbledore. Here is the base unemployment rate for Britain since 1960. And here is the graph for the number of first generation 'magicals' in the same amount of time. Now watch what happens when I compare the number of children taken from their homes to be taught your precious gift and sent back because they weren't _pure_ enough to suit your so called Ministry of Magic," said Harry.

The results were staggering.

After Voldemort's attacks stopped, the unemployment rate skyrocketed up by two percent for each year. The number of children removed from normal homes and sent to Hogwarts went up as well.

"As you can see here, shortly after the terrorist attacks of the seventies abruptly ended, unemployment rose by two percent at least each year. The number of children taken by your so called school also rose. It seems to me, _Mr. Dumbledore,_ that your communities are more interested in remaining in the dark rather than trying to keep your numbers up," said Harry bluntly.

Dumbledore looked at the graphs with open shock. Harry wasn't finished with tearing him a new one.

"Now these are only a rough estimate of the people who were taken by your school and spit out back into the cruel world we live in. However they are by no means exaggerated in the least. I have seen at least _five_ different homeless encampments full of what you people would call muggleborns, or first generation magicals, who went to your precious school and were rejected by your society who had no interest in letting them stay in your community because their blood wasn't _pure_ enough for your taste. And the average amount of people in these groups were fifty to seventy-five."

Harry then addressed the people.

"These groups have since been relocated to a more humane environment and the people living in it are being given a basic education so that they might rejoin the workforce properly for free. Just because these...magicals...refuse to allow new blood into your community, doesn't mean that Her Majesty's government is going to let these people suffer."

Harry had arranged for the people living in these communities to live in a declassified base where they could be brought back up to standards education wise in exchange for helping the scientists learn more about magic. They were given basic wage and health coverage. But most of all it was a partnership. Harry would never let his own people be experimented on.

And much like Harry, they found it a delicious twist of irony that the same gold which had been used to keep them out was now being used to give them a better chance at living normally.

It wouldn't surprise Harry in the least that, when told of which god Harry worshiped, most of the people he had saved had been converted to the Olde Ways...specifically that of Loki.

Loki was becoming more and more popular the more he tore down the Magical Communities precious traditions and forced them to wake up and smell the modern day age.

Later, when he regained his memories, the true Loki would find this fact even more amusing than getting his revenge against Dumbledore and the pure bloods through the muggle legal system and having them declared insane.

Harry tore Dumbledore to shreds, showing the country exactly what his 'greater good' had done to the children they had taken from their homes and 'trained'.

When Harry was done with Dumbledore, he looked the tired old man in the eye and said "Your 'Greater Good' needs to meet some common sense."

* * *

Harry cricked his neck. It had been a week, and more muggleborns had come out of the woodwork eager to speak out against the people who had taken them in and cast them out for no reason other than their blood wasn't pure enough. Finding out that Harry Potter, the wizard's savior, had decided to turn against the people who had tried to use him as a weapon had been the thing they needed to believe that maybe they could get on with their lives.

Harry wasn't getting any more gold by having the pure bloods declared insane, but he was giving them a reality check.

He was about to go get pizza when he was hit by something from behind...and his head about split in pain.

He knew what this was...whatever memory block was in place had been removed and replaced with something else. Whoever had done this had known exactly how to cast that spell, and knew that it had to be applied fast before he went after them.

He was breathing heavily as he sat on the floor trying to remember his own name.

When he was finally able to sit up, he felt different. Something about himself had changed and he had no idea what.

Heading to the bathroom, he looked in the mirror.

There wasn't any noticeable difference...but looking at himself he knew there was a change. It took a moment for him to realize his hair, which had always been untamed by brush (he wore it long and in a ponytail to keep it out of the way) seemed...flatter than he remembered. His eyes had also changed shape, but that was only because he was looking for something.

Where his eyes had shown a calm, if confident power, there was now a touch of anger and betrayal. Like he had been lied to one too many times and had been punished for something he didn't remember. It was on the edge of his mind, like a snake that stalked an unsuspecting mouse.

Giving up on pizza for the night, Harry ordered in. He had a bezoar in his mouth as a precaution and cast a spell to detect poisons just in case.

As he ate his steak, he noticed something strange about the knife. It took him a moment to realize that in his anger over what just happened, he had somehow _bent_ the metal. Looking at the knife in shock he decided to try an experiment.

He bent the steel with ease. He snapped his fingers and repaired it.

He didn't know what was happening to his body, but he had the feeling this was how it was supposed to be. Like he had been restricted by something, and now his real ability was coming back to him.

Any other man might have used this knowledge to try and subjugate everyone else. They might have used their wandless magic to really make the magical communities fear them.

But not Harry. He didn't know why this was happening _now_ of all times, but he knew one thing.

He had several choices. He could go back to being Harry Potter, the champion lawyer of the more-than-human groups. He could return to being an ordinary magical who was known for being the savior. Or he could try to rule them.

But that wasn't his way. Harry knew what it was like to be an outcast in a society that was supposed to welcome you with open arms. This world didn't need a king...it needed champions. People like him who took adversity and the powers given to them and chose to do good with it.

But first...he needed to finish his case.

* * *

Over the course of the case against the magical communities, several had come forward...some had been arrested.

Some, like Minister Fudge and Undersecretary Umbridge, were thrown into special jails made just for them. Others, like Madam Bones, had shown up and were released back into the general public.

What had started as declaring a vendetta against those who had tried to turn him into a weapon had quickly spiraled into a mass undertaking when people began to realize just how deep it actually went.

The Ministry of Magic had been shut down, rather violently at that, by the Prime Minister. Pure bloods had been startled to realize that the 'muggles' had learned of their existence and were dragging them kicking and screaming into the modern age.

Aurors, people who had spent years hunting down those who broke the statute of secrecy, found themselves being reeducated and put back to work with new purpose. Healers, those who acted as doctors, found that their previous education wasn't enough and were made to go through normal medical school in order to learn new tricks.

But the worst hit was Hogwarts.

The school, which had survived thousands of years as the best for magical education in Europe, was now considered so out of date that it wasn't even amusing. The teachers were allowed to stay, but only if they were willing to at least update their curriculum.

Filch, the cantankerous caretaker, was allowed to retire and given a house to live with his familiar Mrs. Norris. Hagrid was allowed to stay and was even given a new wand so he could finish his education.

And as for Voldemort and his terror troops?

Well, there was a reason why you don't mess with the military. Snape gave them all the locations of his bases in exchange for a plea deal and the Dark Mark removed. He returned to his home in Spinner's End and never had to teach again.

Voldemort and his men were no match for battle-hardened and well trained snipers and enough explosives to blow up a city block.

Finally, the 'case' ended and Harry was able to leave Britain in the hands of Mrs. Tonks.

* * *

"Hey short stuff. Heard you made big waves in England," said Darcy.

Harry's first thought was to return back to New Mexico and help Jane out. He might be considered a big time lawyer, but he didn't want to waste his all his time in the courts.

He left his number online for people to find and a newly created website. If an outcast needed him, he was just a call away.

Harry smirked.

"I got my revenge and best of all I was paid for it. Payback is a bitch," said Harry.

"Hey Harry," said Jane, glaring.

"What?"

"She found most of your traps while you were gone," said Darcy smugly.

"Long time no see," said Selvig.

"You had no idea how happy I am to be out of England. I would honestly rather deal with Jane's revenge than be there another day," snorted Harry.

"How come? You're a big-shot lawyer now," said Darcy.

"Yeah, but do you have any idea how _pissed_ the magicals are now that they've been dragged out into the twentieth century? If I stayed any longer I would be dealing with assassination threats by now. Andromeda is a known pure blood and a good lawyer. She doesn't need to hide. I had to get out before they found out that I used to attend that backwards school and my reputation was shot to hell," said Harry in a bit of a whine.

"Wait, you're a wizard too?" said Darcy.

"Used to be. I left before I completed the 'education' they claimed to give and got a real one here. Best money I spent, getting out of Europe."

"So why did you come back here?" asked Darcy, "Shouldn't you be, I don't know, touring the world or something?"

"Nah. I would rather come back to base, in a manner of speaking, and figure out what to do next."


	6. Chapter 6

Harry woke to the sound of banging. He looked at the clock.

"Do you have _any_ idea what time it is?" he demanded.

"2 in the morning. Come on, there's an event happening," said Jane bluntly.

"What sort of event, and it had better be damn good or I'll be leaving even more traps in your system," he warned.

Jane showed him the picture she had taken a few hours ago. Harry blearily looked at it as his eyes were strained from reading for hours, and he had just gone to bed an hour ago.

"So?"

"So this could prove my theory!"

"Right. I am leaving new traps in your computers for this. I only went to sleep an hour ago," he said yawning.

"And I thought you would be interested in coming," she said annoyed. At this point she was used to the little 'traps' Harry somehow left on her computer. She could exit within five seconds after setting one off.

It took Darcy five minutes, and Erik ten. They found it easier to just hit mute and let the video play out...by that time they could exit out without setting off a secondary trap.

Jane took solace in the fact that if anyone did steal her computer, they would be in for an unpleasant surprise. Harry had made a magical virus that would infect any servers near the computer that was trapped. If someone tried to hack her computer and steal her research, it would immediately jump into any computers near her laptop and trap them all until they paid Harry to remove it.

If he was feeling particularly vindictive, he would leave it dormant to be activated again at any time.

* * *

Harry was leaning against the door, his eyes half open. He had decided against taking any pepper up, mostly because he fully intended to go back to sleep once this was over.

Suddenly an aurora appeared over the desert, and Darcy started racing towards where the instruments said that something would hit.

Harry was wide awake, and he felt the memory block straining and finally settling.

He knew what this was, he had traveled it before multiple times before.

The Bifrost.

He was very glad he had buckled up, because Jane was fighting Darcy over whether to enter it or not. Suddenly there was someone there and they narrowly avoided hitting them.

This...this was entirely too familiar.

Memories were really trying to break loose now and Harry wasn't happy about it. If he had wanted to remember, he would have broken the block months ago that day when his body slowly shifted away from being entirely human.

He didn't know who he had been before, but he knew there was a reason why he had been sent to Earth in human form...and why the name Loki had felt so hauntingly familiar.

Whoever they had hit started yelling names only Harry recognized.

_'So this is an Asgardian? Wonder what he did to piss off his superiors...'_ mused Harry.

The second his eyes met with the blond lunatic, memories came to him of a name.

Thor. God of Thunder and Prince of Asgard.

He also caught glimpses of Thor doing something that angered another, one he remembered on the days prior to his body shifting away from humanity.

Odin, King of the Asgard and Thor's father.

So Thor had done something to anger Odin enough to warrant a lesson in humility? How amusing.

"Loki! Send me back now!" he roared.

The moment Thor touched his arm, he reacted.

Harry didn't just focus on his studies when he had been taking those college courses...he had also taken time out to learn how to defend himself after one too many drinks.

Harry slammed his leg into the lunatic's body, sending his center of gravity off-course and giving him the perfect chance to flip him. Just to make sure the idiot got the message, he kicked him hard in the balls.

"My name...is Harry you imbecilic moron. And if you touch me again I'll do worse than kick you in the chones," he snarled.

Harry was not a very nice person when he hadn't had much sleep.

Seeing him about to get up, Harry took the taser Darcy always had on her and gave the idiot a good reason to stay down.

"Who the hell is that guy anyway?" asked Darcy after they had dumped him at the hospital. It had taken four men to subdue the raving man.

"His name is Thor. And he's an idiot. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to get some much needed sleep. Wake me up only if the Frost Giants descend or the world ends. Anything less than that will earn you some rather humiliating hexes," warned Harry, yawning widely.

"Night short stuff," said Darcy waving him off.

Erik wanted to know how Harry knew the man, but wisely decided to wait until morning first. No way in hell was he getting on Harry's bad side when he was tired and cranky.

* * *

Harry woke up around noon the next morning and immediately poured some pepper-up potion into his boiling hot coffee. Two shots of that and he was ready to deal with this headache.

"Morning."

"Hey Harry. It's noon," said Darcy cheerfully.

"Where are Jane and Erik?"

"Getting the mystery man from the hospital."

Harry rolled his eyes.

"Call me if he says anything intelligent. I need to fly after being dragged out of my bed at two in the damn morning just to find a raving idiot," said Harry.

Darcy tossed him a bag. He opened it to find donuts inside. He winked at her before he took off on his new broom.

* * *

It was thanks to his flight that he stumbled across what appeared to be a meteor landing site.

At the center was a massive hammer, one he recognized as Mjolnir.

Placing a single hand on the hilt of the hammer, Harry reached out with his magic.

It thrummed, almost as if it was alive.

He tried picking it up. He picked it up, but it was too heavy for him to use at all. Still, the very fact it had deemed him worthy enough to pick up seemed to be a very good thing in his mind. He left it there, but laced enough spells that anyone who tried to take it or move it would find it very hard going.

He left the area to get something to eat...lifting that hammer had taken all of his strength and he had the feeling that this mystery person named Thor would have answers.

* * *

He came into the dinner just as Thor destroyed the coffee cup. He could hear Jane chastise him and rolled his eyes.

"A cup of coffee and perhaps a burger and fries," he said to the waitress.

Thor's eyes immediately went to him and he said happily "Loki!"

Harry turned and glared at him.

"My name you simpering oaf, is Harry. If I am to be forced to deal with your presence then for the love of magic get my name right. Loki may be my patron god but that does not give you the right to call me by that name," he snarled.

"Yeah, Harry is not a happy wizard when his sleep is interrupted and he has to deal with idiots in the morning," said Darcy.

Thor looked very confused.

"Your magic and speech is almost identical to my brother Loki's."

"I'll take that as a compliment. From what I know of Loki he seems to be the only intelligent one of the two of you," said Harry sarcastically.

"Order up!" shouted the cook.

"Thank you," said Harry, setting down next to the counter to eat his lunch. He was going to need migraine relievers at this rate.

"So Harry, where did you fly off to this time?" asked Jane.

"I went out into the desert. Someone's left a rather large warhammer with Norse runes all over it in the middle of a massive crater. Which means that SHIELD is likely on it's way to confiscate it...and once they find out about tall, dumb and blond they'll probably steal your research. I'll be sure to make copies of everything once I'm done."

"What's SHIELD?" asked Darcy.

"Some UN organization that tries to end threats before they become threats to the world. Once they find out about this idiot being here through unusual means they'll be all over you three. The man who runs it is extremely paranoid. Fortunately they can't touch my residence because of the spells I have on it, though I would enjoy watching them try," said Harry evilly.

Once he finished his lunch, he went to work making duplicates of Jane's research. He had already set his laptop on monitoring SHIELD last week and right now it was a hotbed of activity. It would take them several hours to come down this far and he planned to make their stay miserable at least.

Once he was done he left Jane's old laptop out with the virus she hated so much dormant for the moment.

Jane had gotten a new one after he had infected her first with that virus, only to discover that it could jump computers. She had kept the new laptop and left her old one as a back-up in case her new one crashed.

And now it would be his trap for when SHIELD confiscated Jane's research. That should be amusing to watch.

* * *

Harry woke up from his nap to find Thor outside.

He took a shot of migraine reliever, as he felt that this idiot would be getting on his nerves very quickly.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"I want to know why Odin sent you to Earth in the form of a human. I can tell you are my brother Loki, but at the same time you are not," he said flatly.

"I thought Odin made you human? How the hell can you possibly know if I am Loki or just a wizard who happens to worship him?"

"I knew Loki best next to our mother. Despite the mortal shell you wear, I would know him anywhere."

"Get in here. For the time being I will _allow_ you into my house. Annoy me too much and I will have the wards throw you out."

Thor went in, noting with surprise how big it was.

"Now what do you know of Loki? And what do you mean by mortal shell?" said Harry flatly.

"Loki is my brother. The last I saw of him we had just come back from an ill-advised trip to Jotunheim to demand answers for why they interrupted the coronation ceremony. Father sent me down here as a lesson and took all my powers...when I saw you I thought he had done the same," said Thor.

Harry raised an eyebrow.

"A few months ago I felt something being removed...a block of some type. Shortly after I was able to bend steel. If what you say is true, then chances are that I am also paying for something and have recently been released. However, that doesn't mean that Loki and I are the same. I have no desire to see Asgard and frankly I find you irritating beyond belief," said Harry.

"So you are Loki! I knew it!" said Thor happily.

"All signs point to the fact that I _used_ to be Loki, and that I was sentenced to the same lesson you are learning right now. However I have no intention of returning to being Loki at the moment...I'm having far too much fun here on Earth to want to go back."

"Fun?" Thor perked up.

Harry gave him a tooth-filled grin.

"I'm a magical lawyer...people pay me to get out of trouble and to make the lives of others miserable. I'm well known to the minority groups with powers as the Viper, and anyone caught on the wrong end of my bad mood is liable to get bitten," said Harry.

"What is a lawyer?" asked Thor.

"Someone paid to talk people out of trouble after stupid stunts, or to defend them if they are charged with something that wasn't their fault," said Harry. It was his basic job description.

"Truly a job my brother would enjoy! We called him the Silvertongue for all the times he got us out of trouble!" said Thor jovially.

Harry rolled his eyes.

"Now unless you have something you needed, would you mind leaving? Being around such rampant stupidity gives me migraines," said Harry.

"Of course brother!"

"For the last time, I'm not Loki! My name is Harry!" he snapped.

"Of course...Harry," winked Thor.

"Gods he is such an idiot!" said Harry closing the door and locking it.

* * *

_In Asgard..._

"My Lord, Thor has found Loki's mortal self. I believe his memories are now returning," said Heimdall.

"Good. What of Loki's mortal self?"

"...He was able to lift Mjolnir, though he did not keep it," said Heimdall.

Odin paused and looked at Heimdall in shock.

"Truly?"

"Harry Potter recognized the hammer and was able to lift it, though it appeared too heavy for him to keep it. He also left spells so that no one unworthy could remove it without consequences. Thor has also recognized Loki despite the fact that his memories are more or less still sealed."

"What happened?"

"Loki not only beat Thor in combat, but he also incapacitated him with ease," said Heimdall very amused.

"What magic did he use to accomplish such a feat?"

"No magic. He used some form of martial arts that no one on Asgard would use to knock Thor on his ass."

Odin laughed, though it was a heavy sound. Perhaps Harry would give Thor the kick in the right direction he needed.

It was too easy to call Loki's mortal self by another name...Harry Potter was like him in many ways but his personality was almost completely different. Once Loki was banished again perhaps Harry would retake his mantle as the God of Mischief.

It would have been interesting to see how Loki reacted to his mortal shell...and the fact that Harry Potter was a known Loki worshipper. That headache alone would have been worth seeing the look on his face.

* * *

Thor went into the area Harry had found his hammer, and tried to pick it up. Harry could have told him that he wouldn't succeed, but the chance that the idiot would be away from him for several hours had stilled his tongue.

Instead of dealing with his current headache, Harry decided to grab a dictionary and look up synonyms for idiot. He would spend the better part of an hour coming up with ways to insult Thor without letting the man know he was insulting him.

Ah, the fun of being a lawyer. You could mock people and they wouldn't even realize what you called them until later.


	7. Chapter 7

Harry was about to go get some lunch from the diner when his mobile rang.

Normally he would have ignored it, but in this case he had to answer it. The ringtone said it all...someone had called his phone and it had been redirected straight to his cell. And only a legitimate client could get in contact with him, since he had no patience for telemarketers.

"Yes?"

"_Is this Harry Potter, barrister extraordinaire?"_ asked the voice.

"I don't have patience for idle chit chat. What's the case and what fee are we talking about here?" said Harry bluntly.

"_The case is that the US Army is trying to take my suit, despite the fact I'm a civilian contractor. And after the amount of damage you did to that secret society kidnapping kids, I couldn't think of a better person to ask to tell the idiots in Washington to bite me,"_ said the possible client.

Harry's eyes narrowed. The US Army trying to confiscate a suit from a civilian contractor? There was only one congressional hearing that this man could be talking about.

"Is this Tony Stark?" he asked suspiciously.

Hearing the dead silence on the phone, he had evidently hit that nail on the head.

Harry looked at the clock. Judging by the time, it would take S.H.I.E.L.D. another hour or so to try and confiscate Jane's equipment, and two hours after to find the traps he had set for them.

He could spare half an hour to piss off the US government. It wasn't like he had anything else as entertaining to do today, and Stark might give him a copy of the video if he asked.

"I'm in, but I want a copy of the video so I can watch the looks on the senator's faces later," he said.

"_Deal."_

Harry was out of New Mexico and in Washington before the breakfast rush. Sometimes it paid to wake up early.

(Across the universe, every sentient being shuddered. Nothing good could possibly come from an alliance between a lawyer Harry and Tony Stark in the mood to prank someone. Especially once Tony learned of how Harry tended to play pranks on Jane and the others when he was in a bad mood.)

* * *

"This hearing is now in session. For the record, why are you here Mr. Potter? I thought you operated out of England only?" asked the Senator, eyes narrowing.

"Stark is my client at the moment," he replied smoothly. The viper pin on his lapel made some of the less reputable senators shudder.

The Viper of England and Tony Stark together? This hearing wouldn't end as easily as the idiot had hoped.

The man coughed, and started reading the charges.

Harry listened before he rolled his eyes. This was a farce and anyone who had sense would acknowledge that.

Stark may have designed the concept behind the Iron Man while under contract, but he had created the 'true' version after severing ties with the US Military. The only reason he even had contacts with the Military is because half of the scientists they hired under oath were lacking in the imagination department.

Anyone with any real intelligence stayed independent of the military and any government. It may mean less cash and a bit more difficulty getting any restricted materials, but the freedom more than made up for it.

There was a reason why he had never joined a law firm like half his classmates once he graduated and passed the bar. If he couldn't talk his way out of a lawsuit then he deserved to pay for it.

Watching Tony hijack the screens and show the 'attempts' to duplicate his suit, Harry snorted.

"It seems to me that the only reason we are here, gentlemen, is because the US military is angry at the fact Stark decided not to share his new toy with you. Frankly I don't see why you are all complaining about the damn thing. Mr. Stark, if you would please bring up the cost for one of these suits, even if it's outdated?"

Tony raised an eyebrow, but the amusement factor was most definitely there. He obliged Harry's request, and several people stared at the cost of a single Iron Man suit. It was more expensive than an aircraft carrier!

"As you can see gentlemen, I really don't see why you lot are so desperate to get your hands on this armor. From the costs of the armor alone it's clear that it would bankrupt the US to even make more than one or two, if that. And with the state of the economy as it is, I seriously doubt that the citizens of this country would appreciate higher taxes just because you had to _have_ the latest thing in armor."

Hearing the grumbling behind them, he had hit that nail pretty much on the head.

"In fact, so long as Mr. Stark continues to at least give the military and local law enforcement a hand with threats above their paygrade, I really see no reason why you actually _need_ to steal his designs."

"Stark is a menace and a child! That man shouldn't have something as dangerous as that suit!" barked the senator behind this farce.

"Yes, but to be fair have you considered why he's even bothering to help you at all? Why could Mr. Stark possibly receive from helping people who couldn't hope to even own one of his products, let alone know who he is? He doesn't need the fame, everyone knows his face. He had no need for money if he can afford to make an entirely new suit with new upgrades. He doesn't need recognition from you lot if he isn't part of the military. So what exactly is Stark getting out of keeping his suit instead of giving it to you?" he asked bluntly.

The people behind them had a collective blink as they thought that statement over. Harry had a valid point. What exactly _did_ Stark get out of being a hero outside of helping people? He didn't need the money, and if that expense report for even an outdated suit was right it wasn't exactly cheap to make. He had no need for the fame and he hadn't exactly gone back to being a playboy billionaire since Afghanistan and his subsequent kidnapping.

Seeing the senator turn a shade of red he hadn't seen since Vernon found out that he was being knighted personally by the Queen for forcing the magical society out in the open through entirely legal means no one could actually put him in prison for, Harry hid a self-satisfied smirk.

He had entirely too much fun with his actual day job. The fact Stark was paying him good money to poke fun at these idiots was a bonus.

The hearing ended in Stark's favor, naturally, and Harry found himself with an evil-grinning Stark.

"That was entirely too much fun," he said to his conspirator.

"I agree. It should be illegal to run rings around idiots like that," said Harry, letting his smirk out.

"You up for free beer?"

"I would, but I want to see S.H.I.E.L.D.'s face when they realized I trapped all the equipment they just 'confiscated' from a friend of mine. I wonder how that one-eyed warhawk will look when he realizes what exactly those computers are trapped with."

"You can't tempt me with something that funny and not tell me what you did!" said Tony giddy.

"What do you know of the internet?" smirked Harry.

It took two seconds for that to hit Stark, and he started guffawing.

"You didn't!"

"The most depraved stuff you can imagine, and I don't even watch what I bug the computers with. And the best part is that it's a special virus that their hackers can't remove until after the video is over...and it will infect _all_ their systems on the network that the infected computer is tapped into or near. Jane nearly strangled me after she bought a new laptop and found out that the virus had gotten into her new system without me being near it."

Tony was having trouble breathing...he was laughing too hard.

"You have _got_ to share the pictures of their face when they realize what you did!"

"Chances are you'll see Fury first. Do me a favor and have your A.I. friend take pictures of his face when he realizes that you know the one responsible for that trap. By the way, were you aware that your father had his hands on a special energy that rivals the palladium core you're using, but won't kill you?"

"Do tell," he said.

"Try looking into his old work from around World War Two. The Arc reactor was just the first step into the energy source he unlocked...and it might be in a place you wouldn't expect," said Harry.

Seeing the speculative look on Tony's face, he knew he had just given the man the biggest clue he could without telling him how he knew.

Harry got back in time to see Coulson swipe Jane's "book" though really it was a list of things S.H.I.E.L.D. had done wrong when they seized her equipment and a notice that if they weren't returned in less than perfect condition that he would be suing them to hell and back.

He had made sure to warn the blond idiot that while they were taking the equipment, they were also getting pranked. Heavily. And that he should let them keep what they stole if only so they could get the full effect and that Jane hadn't actually lost any of her work.

That along with the webcams set to go off at random intervals so that he could watch their expressions of disgust meant he would be having a fun day.

* * *

Harry found himself approached by a less than amused Fury a day later. Using Tony to deliver that message had been worth it. Tony had sent the look Fury had shot him when he found out who had boobytrapped the computers they stole.

"I must say, I'm surprised you never agreed to join S.H.I.E.L.D. Mr. Potter. A man with your talents would have endless possibilities."

"Not a chance in Helhiem. Do I _look_ like an idiot to you? I prefer the freedom of picking my cases," said Harry.

"I was talking about your combat potential actually, though that brings me to another matter," said Fury, coughing awkwardly, "How do we remove those traps you so _helpfully_ left for my forces to stumble on?"

"Ask Jane. It was originally a joke on her, though it took her four tries to figure out how to get out of them in less than five seconds. She finds them a nuisance more than anything now, though Darcy and Erik usually just hit mute and wait for the video to end before they exit out," said Harry cheerfully.

Fury made a point to talk to Ms. Foster, seeing as how Thor had already left several hours ago.

Jane had looked at him bluntly and told him to either hire a magical or bribe Harry with something he wanted. The only reason she had been able to figure out how to get out of those traps was because she had promised to let him breath again after the second one.

After that he gave her the easier to get out of ones.

Fury would try to strangle Harry shortly after finding his personal PDA infected by the mystery virus that was driving his organization up the wall.

Harry made good use of illusions while Tony laughed his ass off while watching the one-eyed war hawk try to kill his new best friend.

* * *

Harry found himself sitting with Tony at a race track. Apparently the billionaire loved his wit and wanted to hire him full time.

Harry suggested putting him on retainer and letting Jane play with all the toys Tony had access to in order to further her research. Then he met Darcy, and Pepper showed exactly how good her aim was with a tablet they had lying around as she threw it at his head.

She hit hard, but it was a damn good shot.

"So this idiot came up and tore the car you were in to pieces using some sort of whip? Seriously?" said Harry incredulous.

"And he was using an arc reactor!" complained Tony.

"Talk about unoriginal. Well congratulations Tony, you have your first super villain!" said Harry with a fake-serious amount of sincerity.

"You suck. And he knew about the poisoning!" whined Tony.

"Any luck tracking down Howard's last notes on an alternative to the Arc?"

"None, though I have narrowed it down to shortly after the war ended," said Tony irritably.

"...He opened up the last Stark Expo after WWII right?" asked Harry, sipping his scotch.

Tony blinked.

"You don't think...?"

"Worth a shot. Try looking at the Expo more closely. Howard doesn't seem to have a love for the dramatic like you do after Captain America went missing," said Harry. He had read Howard's bio. After Rogers went missing and he recovered some sort of cube thing that was driving Harry up the wall with half-recovered memories, he had developed the arc. An energy source which, as far as he could tell, was unfinished at best.

"So you coming to my party later?"

"Have to, if only to keep you from making an ass of yourself. In case you haven't noticed, your approval ratings among the average American has shot up after that congressional hearing. The last thing you need is to slip into your old patterns of behavior."

"Especially when I'm so close to finding that other energy you told me about. Looking into dad's notes, he mentioned something about a Cube which the HYDRA forces used to power their weapons...and last time I checked lasers weren't invented until after World War Two," said Tony.

Talking to Harry had two effects. The first was that Tony had a new perspective from the view of a man many considered the world's best lawyer. If it wasn't for the fact that he was choosy about his cases, he would have been swamped by work. He also took pity on people in hard times, which only endeared him to the public...as was the fact that he had taken the case against Anti-Mutant sympathizers for free.

With the recent revelation that Jean Grey was in fact a telepath, many were starting to wonder if she had been talking to her cousin during the infamous hearing where the Mutant Registration Act was shredded along with Senator Kelly's reputation.

The second was that he had a new, if snarky, perspective to look at things from. Harry could care less about his money, fame or toys. He was in it for amusement's sake than anything else. Tony could count him on the small list of people he could honestly call friend, let alone his emergency contact list in case of his death.

He knew Harry would be there if he was in a coma, if only to berate him in his rather sharp tongue on how much of an idiot he had been to get in that state.

Still, the fact was that Harry had given him something he had needed. Hope that he would live to see fifty.

As it turned out, Harry immediately placed a hex on Tony to keep him from drinking too much alcohol and replace it with water every time he got within a foot of anything with any alcohol in it. When told what he had done, Pepper had thanked him profusely.

Tony would have done more damage to his reputation if Harry hadn't stopped him from getting so drunk that he considered putting on the Iron Man suit in the middle of a birthday party.

Harry still lit into him for nearing doing something that could ruin all the work he had put into keeping the suit out of military hands.


	8. Chapter 8

Tony was looking at Harry's "house" if it could be called that.

"You live in a trailer. All that cash and you live in a _trailer_," he said incredulous.

He had been curious where the infamous Viper lived, and to say he was shocked was an understatement.

"I can pack up and move at any time. Besides, it's a really good trailer," shrugged Harry.

"It's a _trailer_. With a piece of junk like this you should be living in a trailer park!" said Tony in disbelief.

"Wait till you see the inside."

Jane was waiting for them, and was promised two months free of trapped files if she got this picture. She had agreed so fast he had nearly gotten whiplash.

Tony couldn't see why the infamous Viper lived in a _trailer_ (and this fact had to be emphasized in his head repeatedly) when he could easily afford a house.

The second he saw the inside, his face took a pole-axed expression. He vaguely noted a camera going off repeatedly.

Harry was too busy laughing to properly enjoy this moment.

Finally he stepped outside, looked at the (rather dingy-looking) trailer completely, before going back in.

"How?"

"Magic, of course. No one expects me to live in something this cheap looking, so they never think to bother me. And seeing people have a _Doctor Who_ moment makes it entirely worth owning this place," said Harry cackling.

Jane coughed and he negligently waved over her.

"A vaccine. You are now trap free for two months," he said.

"I'll have the photos developed tomorrow," she said.

"Correction, three months," he said smirking.

Tony looked at the place like a cat in full curiosity mode.

"So you're a wizard. And you dragged your own people out into the new century why?"

"Spite. Payback. Amusement. Take your pick. Idiots tried to turn me into their own personal weapon."

"Seriously?"

"They left me in a hellhole where every house was the same, and my Aunt didn't exactly _like_ magic so she took out her jealousy of her younger sister on me. I got my revenge though...when people found out I was her nephew, they started asking some rather pointed questions about my childhood. Particularly why Petunia felt the need to lie about the fact I was a useless good-for-nothing when anyone with a brain and eyes knew that her son was the waste of space and not me. Then they tried to maneuver me into fighting some nut job from the seventies who killed several innocents because they were all too chicken to deal with the man themselves, despite outnumbering him four-to-one."

"So do they really use wands?" he had to ask.

Harry smirked, and pulled out his true wand. The second he left England he had snapped that holly and phoenix feather one and threw it in the trash. The one he bought in Knockturn third year was so much easier to use.

Yggdrasil wood and the scales from what the man could only assume was from the infamous World Serpent, seeing as how there were no dragons anywhere near that area for several hundred years and it had come from a suspicious looking rock that caused an earthquake after he had loosened the scale itself.

With the knowledge that yes, magic was in fact real and that his new best friend was a magical, Tony was bursting with questions.

Harry simply pointed at the bookshelf, and brought out a helpful Latin dictionary in case Tony got confused.

Fortunately Tony had been through enough legal nonsense to have a basic understanding of the language (and had taken Spanish at one point) so it was slightly less difficult for him to work through the books.

He had to comment on some of the weird as hell laws he kept coming across though.

"Seriously?" he had to ask.

"Which one you on?" asked Harry.

"You get gold for declaring another family line insane. What sort of backwards nonsense is this?" asked Tony incredulous.

"How did you think I funded those camps for first-generation magicals? I sure as hell wasn't funding it out of my family vault! Plus the irony was too funny to ignore," said Harry flatly.

"Seriously? So exactly how much did you get by declaring several of this terrorist's sympathizers insane?"

He had wondered why Harry had only asked for the minimum payment for that case.

Harry's smirk did not bode well for him. He pulled up his account with the gnomes in Switzerland, who had an agreement with the Goblin clans and who actually worked with muggles for years.

Tony's eyes bulged. His jaw was dropped.

"YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!"

"I had them convert all the gold I didn't use to fund those camps, which only cut the funds I had from my cut by about a fifth by the way, into gold bullion. The Malfoy family has been swindling people for nearly a century, and they found rather... fertile... ground to steal gold from. I only claimed a fourth, and the Queen allowed it since I was doing her a massive favor by exposing the idiots and giving them a chance to rout the terrorists. I don't think her spies knew exactly how much gold these people had been hoarding, and when they found out it was too late to take any of it back," said Harry smugly.

Boy had those fools in charge of allocating taxes been pissed when they found Harry had been three steps ahead of them and had moved all his gold to a country they couldn't bully into giving some of it back. And his homes had all been inherited for generations and the taxes paid on time, so they could get him that way either.

To top it all off, he lived in another country in a _trailer_. The odds of them seeing any of that gold anytime soon were next to nill.

"I would have to double check, but if I didn't know any better I would swear you're actually richer than I am," said Tony stunned.

"You know you could exploit the same loophole several first gens have by converting your cash into gold. I have a chart that gives you the optimal mundane-to-gold conversion rate before it starts to become too noticeable," he offered.

Tony was rich enough to take advantage of it.

"Wouldn't I get caught?"

Harry snorted, before he realized Tony was being serious.

"The goblins are only just now getting the computer files into the machines. Wear a good disguise and don't tell anyone you real name, and it would be _decades_ at least until someone figures out what happened. How the hell do you think I made that much cash in the account?"

"I thought some of it came from the Malfoys and the others, or an inheritance."

"Only about five million in the Potter account, and the Malfoys only had like half a billion, if that. I only got a quarter of their gold and I paid at least ten mill to get those camps up and running for support in case I needed it. The rest I got by helping the Gringotts Goblin clan wipe out some of their rivals by sucking their gold supply dry. By the time the other goblins figured out what was going on, I was laughing all the way to the bank with their gold bullion and the gnomes were having parties over screwing over some of the more annoying clans," snorted Harry.

The Gringotts goblins now owed him multiple favors and he was considered an honorary goblin. All in exchange for being selective over which goblin bank he hit to exploit the muggle cash-to-gold loophole he had noted.

On another note, in the magical communities the number of wizards and witches converting to Loki's religion had shot up in proportion to the number of new toys they found because he had forcibly dragged them out of the dark ages. He still had a curse-on-sight order if he entered England or the Ministry though.

When he got most of his memories back (which would happen around the time he finally met Loki inside a holding cell originally made for the Hulk) he would laugh long and hard about the fact that he had tried to become King of earth through force when all he had to do was convince people he was a better god than Thor was.

Sure, Thor was a good hero, but a smart one he was not. And off Asgard, they valued Loki's intelligence (once they found out that he had been reformed and actually gave a damn about people) more than they liked Thor's rather irritating habit of causing property damage. Especially when he fought the Hulk over who was stronger of the two of them.

Of the two, only Loki was able to take out an enemy without causing massive amounts of collateral damage that the average citizen would undoubtedly have to pay for. So yes, they liked him better.

"But still, why a trailer?" asked Tony. That was one point he couldn't get rid of.

"I don't like visitors, and most people would at least look for a house. And like I said, I can move anywhere I damn well please with just a car. Kinda hard to make a man pay thousands in taxes when he lives in what appears to be a crappy trailer and can talk his way into keeping other lawyers out," said Harry.

"Point. If not for my ego and the fact I'm super rich I would be asking you to do the same thing for me," conceded Tony.

It would be rather difficult to force Harry to pay property taxes when A) he wasn't a US citizen, but a Brit who simply lived there, and B) his residence appeared to be a crappy trailer with a broken window.

It would take quite a bit to convince anyone that the place was really a mansion, or that someone who was as successful as Harry 'Viper' Potter actually lived in a dump like this. At most he would pay a thousand, tops, for taxes.

Plus it was fun to see the look on the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents faces when they realized that yes, that dump really was his house. Needless to say Harry was a _major_ fan of the _Doctor Who_ series and took great pleasure in being a madman in a box.

"Next thing you'll be telling me is that time-travel is possible," said Tony.

"How far back do you want to go?" countered Harry.

Standard time-turners handed out with minimal fuss was one hour. Harry had one that went back by _weeks_ instead of hours, and another for days.

Tony blinked and _looked_ at him.

"You are joking right?" he said, almost pleading.

"We have hourly, daily and weekly. Once you hit weeks the magic starts to become unstable, and not even the British were dumb enough to make ones that could go past a year," said Harry.

"...Got any more scotch?" he asked, almost hopeful.

"Third liquor cabinet and it's sorted by year. Good stuff is hidden except for times of extreme migraine relief," said Harry smirking.

"Smart."

"And keeps Jane from raiding my stash unless I'm feeling particularly merciful. Should hear the words she knows after she found out that I can actually move this space away from the trailer."

"You can?"

"This is actually a massively expanded box, the door just happens to be the same size as the trailers."

And thanks to the fact it was spelled the same as a tent, which could be collapsed without damaging anything, meant that Harry had a mansion he could plop anywhere he damn well pleased and not have to pay a dime to boot.

He loved screwing people over.

"By the way, have you heard the rumors on the net about Hammer?"

"What rumors?"

"I _might_ (he stressed the word) be privy to certain rumors that even Fury has trouble getting his hands on."

"Like what?"

"Like that guy who used arc tech being replaced right before a bomb went off. Unlike Fury, people don't need to be convinced I'm not a plant. They know I honestly don't care about the cops. One of them mentioned the guy building a whole bunch of fake Iron Men that don't need pilots."

"That...could be very bad."

"And it's being paid for by Hammer," continued.

"Screw bad, that's horrible! Hammer's rich enough to get the good stuff!" said Tony.

"Didn't you give him a slot for the expo?"

"I was being sarcastic!" said Tony.

* * *

_**SilvertongueViper:**_ any word on the rumor concerning Hammer and dead Russian?

_**Unknown:**_ Russian not seen, but pet bird was picked up shortly after death. Confirmation pending. Why do you care anyway?

_**SilvertongueViper: **_the second Stark hired me, he seems to have adopted me as friend. Apparently we share a similar sense of humor...low and lower. And I don't want to hear him whine if Hammer starts something and I knew about it.

_**Unknown: **_so...any chance that you could 'leak' some blackmail on Stark?

_**SilvertongueViper: **_If by blackmail you mean Stark being caught off guard by _Doctor Who_ tech, then I might have something.

_**Unknown:**_ you're joking right?

_**SilvertongueViper:**_ he found my house and his face turned poleaxed. I have multiple pictures, including ones magicked for full effect.

_**Unknown:**_ his face...turned poleaxed. I have to see this.

_**SilvertongueViper:**_ so, about that confirmation...

_**Unknown:**_ best I can do is that they hacked Stark's mainframe before AI took it down. They have some files, but not enough to do any real damage. Heard S.H.I.E.L.D. might make move during expo using agent.

_**SilvertongueViper:**_ which one? Most of them are gun-happy idiots who only think that shooting things works.

_**Unknown:**_ how would you know?

_**SilvertongueViper:**_ because Fury keeps trying to recruit me and I keep telling him to stuff that infected PDA up his ass.

_**Unknown:**_ … what do you mean infected?

_**SilvertongueViper:**_ the idiot known as Coulson was stupid enough to take Foster's work even though it was known that I was in the area. I left a note of all the things he did wrong in a fake copy of her precious book and a legal notice saying if they didn't hand it back in perfect condition I was going to sue. Though not before I upgraded a certain virus that would infect all their servers...took them hours before they found that particular surprise. mwahaha

_**Unknown: **_what sort of surprise?

_**SilvertongueViper:**_ like I said...low and lower. Have to run.

_**Unknown logging off. SilvertongueViper logging off.**_

* * *

Natasha got off her computer. So he had been the one to leave that little prank on their servers. Clint still hadn't stopped laughing when he found out what happened...he hated tech.

"So what did the lawyer have to say?" asked Clint.

"He said to blame Coulson. Apparently he knew they would come so he left a surprise on the doctor's computers for us. He also called S.H.I.E.L.D., and I quote, full of gun-happy idiots," she said dryly.

Clint snorted. He had heard about the book that Coulson confiscated. And the fact it had an actual notarized list of what they had done wrong. Fury had been pissed as hell, especially once the virus hacked their security and started playing merry hell with the new recruits.

Clint had no idea a human body could bend that way, and frankly he never _wanted_ to know. It was still funny...even if Coulson got chewed out when Fury found out who brought in the virus in.


	9. Chapter 9

Harry was present when it all went to hell in a handbasket. Both Tony and Harry had been completely unaware that his friend Rody had used the commotion of Tony's party to steal one of the outdated Iron Man suits, if only to get the people he served under off his ass. The only reason Tony still considered him a friend was because Rody had at least shown enough decency to wait until he was absolutely positive that Tony really _had_ been alright after Harry hit him with a rather nasty vomiting hex as a distraction.

Tony couldn't very well be an idiot when he was too busy being sick, and Harry had covered up the lie of him having a bit too much alcohol by 'accidentally' hitting Tony in the stomach to activate the hex. He had apologized immediately once the party was over and Tony had calmed down from his morbid state, but it had been a fake one.

The second those robots started acting on someone _other_ than Hammer's orders, Harry started leveling actual curses at them.

His wand, to his everlasting shock, morphed inside his hand to become a staff with a sharp end. It looked almost similar in origin to the one he had seen Loki use in his memories.

He knew he was Loki. He just didn't care. What had once been his idol had become a disillusioned past.

Loki Laufeyson was an arrogant, spiteful, petulant child. Not too dissimilar to Draco Malfoy once Lucius had been taken out of the equation.

He was quite happy remaining Harry Potter Black, the Viper of the World's legal system and advocate of the outcasts. Harry had infinitely more fun than Loki ever had, and he wasn't shunned for it to boot.

Besides, Harry got to play with people almost as much as the faeries that once lived among the mortal realms did.

He concentrated on killing the robots before they did too much damage. He wasn't ashamed to be a magical...however when he displayed inhuman feats of strength at least two hours after the start of this mess, he knew he could hide behind the fact that he was no longer human.

That out to be fun to explain to Tony later.

* * *

"So spill...how in the hell did you bend that steel in the convention area to free those people?" asked Tony a few days later, once his injuries had healed up a bit and he forgave Rody for swiping his outdated suit.

"...I'm not entirely human. Haven't been since shortly before I went after Dumbledore on the stand," admitted Harry.

"Why?"

"It all comes down to Loki, the Asgardian and adopted brother of the one called Thor, pissing off Odin to the point where he banished him from Asgard and forced him into a human form as punishment. So far I've seen up to the events leading to Thor being temporarily banished until he learned some damn humility, but I have no idea how Loki angered Odin to the point he couldn't talk his way out," said Harry.

"So... your real name is actually Loki? As in the god you worship?" said Tony in surprise.

"That sums it up. Apparently Odin felt my actions so far have earned me another chance in Asgard, but frankly I'm not that interested."

"Why not?"

"Well for one, this is a culture of gods from the _viking _era. Those people traditionally didn't like people being too smart. Plus there's the fact that Loki is still active on Asgard and I really don't want to cause a paradox until I figure out how he managed to piss off Odin. One of the biggest rules of time travel is that you can't see yourself in the past, mostly because one of the two might attack the other. Even that bossy twit Granger remembered _that_ much."

"Seriously?"

"I think the real reason is so that the wizards had a more reasonable answer than to try and understand what the word 'paradox' means. The mass majority of magicals in Britain are sheep, so the idea that they would attack their double isn't a ridiculous one," said Harry flatly, drinking his beer.

"So...exactly what does this mean?"

"It means that until I have an _actual_ reason to return to Asgard I'm staying here. Or until I finally meet Loki before he goes back. Somehow I get the feeling that won't exactly end well for either party," said Harry.

"So you remember your past life and you have your powers...why aren't you in on Fury's Avengers thing?"

"Because I'm not an idiot who'll dance to Fury's fife. And when he asks you the same question about that steel rod being bent, you can tell him that when he finally meets Thor's more intelligent brother then I might come to his precious helicarrier."

"How do you know he'll come to me asking about that?"

Harry gave him a dry look.

"Because _Coulson_ missed my house even though he was five feet from it, and if he couldn't find it then there's no chance in Helhiem Fury will figure it out."

Which was entirely true, and Harry had a reason for this belief.

Every time Fury had found him, it was usually far _away_ from his house, and if the man could he would have tried to have one of his best agents infiltrate Harry's home at least once. The fact he had yet to do so meant that his special charms were working perfectly and that Fury had no idea that the decrepit trailer Coulson had dismissed out of hand (he had been watching from the window with open amusement) was in fact his home, and not a place he conveniently ducked into to apparate to his actual house.

Tony conceded Harry's point. He had to head to a business meeting later anyway, but talking to Harry was always fun. The man had such a snarky disposition and Tony found his viper's tongue fun to listen to when it wasn't aimed at him.

* * *

_**Unknown: **_I heard you had an eventful time at Stark's expo

_**SilvertongueViper:**_ oh?

_**Unknown:**_ something about the infamous Viper bending a steel beam.

Harry immediately grew suspicious. So he decided to play a trick on Unknown. He started quoting Lewis Carrol's poem from _Through the Looking Glass,_ specifically the one involving the Jabberwocky...in perfect Latin.

_**Unknown:**_ why are you quoting Lewis Carrol?

_**SilvertongueViper:**_ Hello Agent Romanov...or should I call you the Black Widow?

_**Unknown:**_ …

_**SilvertongueViper:**_ I thought it odd that you knew of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s attack on Hammer or the fact that it was _me_ who bent that bar...my face was under an obscuring charm at the time and the only ones who knew was Tony and Fury once Tony mentioned it. However the fact you knew what I was quoting only told me all I needed. Very few people can translate Latin, let alone recognize the poem of the Jabberwocky.

_**Unknown:**_ perhaps I recognized the words Jabberwocky and Vorpal. Those don't exactly translate very well in Latin

_**SilvertongueViper: **_Nice try, but only someone well versed in Latin would recognize that I was specifically quoting Lewis Carrol's poem. So tell me, how _did_ Fury enjoy my ongoing prank with Jane?

_**Unknown:**_ He's pissed as hell about the fact Coulson didn't think to check for a trap before he accidentally infected our servers. I have to ask, why did you trap the computers with such disgusting porn?

_**SilvertongueViper:**_ I bet he's wondering how I bent that bar as well.

_**Unknown:**_ he's not the only one.

_**SilvertongueViper:**_ As far as I can tell, at some point in the very near future Thor's much more intelligent brother Loki did something to piss off their father and he decided the tried and true method of instilling some humility in him.

_**Unknown:**_ you're Loki?

_**SilvertongueViper:**_ I may have been in a previous life, but from what I've seen Loki is a rather petulant child. I have no desire to become _that_ petty to the point where he unleashed Frost Giants from Jotunhiem just to insure Thor's special day was ruined.

_**Unknown:**_ why didn't you go back _with_ Thor then?

_**SilvertongueViper:**_ two reasons. One, I don't want to meet Loki and accidentally cause a paradox, and two I really don't feel like it. Why should I return to Asgard if I prefer causing havoc here and being paid to do it?

_**Unknown:**_ Clint would love to meet you. He still hasn't stopped laughing at the look on Phil's face when he found out why his computer was infected.

_**SilvertongueViper:**_ Clint as in Clint Barton? I've heard of him...he's one of the rare few agents of you lot I can respect. Not many would ignore the overdone gun and bullets and go back to the basics

Well that and Harry distinctly remembered Loki doing something to take control of the man.

_**Unknown:**_ Clint will be happy to hear that. Any chance we could meet face-to-face?

_**SilvertongueViper:**_ absolutely. I'll even thrown in lunch, provided you don't try to recruit me like Fury did. I was nearly turned into a weapon and a tool once, Agent Romanov, I have no intention of it happening twice.

_**Unknown:**_ fair enough. Just keep the Viper on a leash please.

* * *

Harry was waiting at a rather quaint, if slightly overpriced, restaurant when they approached.

Clint Barton and Natasha Romanov...the Hawk and the Spider.

"Well, well, well...isn't this an interesting meeting? The hawk, the spider and the viper," said Harry. Clint snorted in amusement.

"All the makings of a really bad joke," he said. He held out a hand, "Clint Barton."

"Harry 'Viper' Potter."

"Natasha Romanov, but you know me better as Unknown," said the red head.

"So...what's this about you being Loki?" asked Clint, trying to break the ice.

"From what little of his memories I've unlocked, he did something to royally anger his adopted father Odin. And Odin, it seems, has a preferred punishment for his...sons."

"Turning them into humans," said Natasha.

"Judging by what I've learned, he overshot Loki's body by several decades and put him in an infant that hadn't even been born yet."

"So why haven't you gone back to wherever Thor came from yet?" asked Clint.

"Paradox and it's not that fun there. If you had a choice between mocking people and being paid to do it, or being bored out of your mind in a place you hate, which would _you_ chose?" asked Harry.

"You get paid to mock people?" said Clint.

Harry grinned.

"What do you think a lawyer does for fun? Mocking people is half the reason why I became a lawyer in the first place! You get to insult people like that senator and the best part is that they can't do one thing about it," said Harry smirking.

Clint chuckled evilly.

"You like pranks?"

"I once set a bunch of garden snakes (who are total perverts) on some girls in the school my cousin works at. What do you think?"

Clint grinned evilly.

* * *

A year. That was how long Harry had been left alone (more or less) by S.H.I.E.L.D. outside of his chats with the Black Widow.

Then he got the call. Loki had shown up and stolen the Tesseract, the same Cube that Howard Stark fished out of the ocean. And Clint had been taken as well.

"I'll be there in five minutes," said Harry. He apparated to Tony's little apartment inside the Stark Tower and hitched a ride with the billionaire. He wasn't flying in this weather.

"So you got the call too?" asked Tony on the Quinjet.

"It's Loki we're dealing with, and it's known I'm his mortal form. Of course I got the call!" snarked Harry.

"I'm betting Fury will want to know where he is," said Tony.

"And I have no idea. While I've unlocked most of his memories, there are some that are still under a heavy guard. I'll remember them as necessary, but some events are locked," said Harry.

Fury was glaring at Harry, there was no other words for it.

"Fine," he sighed, before he waved his hand around the entire bridge, "You are now trap free until this mess is over with. Happy?"

"Very," said Fury.

Harry saw Coulson and smirked.

"So how did it feel to have everyone hate you for bringing that trap onto the ship?" he asked.

Coulson took a neutral look.

Tony snickered.

"That reminds me, Harry, this is yours," said Tony. He had a second briefcase with the picture of a viper on it.

"So you actually made it?"

"Why not? After you managed to get the military to back off, I admit the idea sounded interesting enough to try it," said Tony.

"What is that?" asked Fury.

"A flight-suit, more or less. Without the weapons system, though he did add an AI," said Harry, accepting the briefcase.

"It also doubles as a regular briefcase in a pinch," shrugged Tony.

"And why would you ask Stark to make you a flight suit?" asked Natasha. She was about to go retrieve Banner.

"Because if I have to stay in one more overcrowded plane I'll go nuts, or heaven forbid fly another broom. People won't bat an eye if they see a flight suit. People will think I'm outdated if I keep using that rickety stick to fly," said Harry flatly.

"Want to help me go get Banner? I would prefer the back-up, considering that alter ego of his," asked Natasha hopefully. With Clint compromised, Harry was the second best bet. Besides, she liked his snarky attitude.

"Sure. I can pay back Tony by helping convince Banner to come crash at his little apartment," said Harry.

Tony gave him a thumbs up in thanks.

* * *

Banner was on edge after following that little girl into the house. Mostly because she had run off as soon as he had gotten inside.

"Dr. Banner I presume?" said a male voice, with a cultured tone.

"If you're trying to capture the Hulk, I feel obligated to warn you that it's doomed to failure," said Bruce.

"Hardly. If I needed that much muscle I would drag that idiot Thor back from Asgard. No, we have need of Bruce Banner, noted expert on gamma radiation. Some idiot has made off with a device that has a low amount of constant radiation coming off it and we need your help to track it," said Harry, stepping out of the shadows.

"We?"

Natasha came to stand next to him.

"At the moment I am forced to work with that gun-happy organization called S.H.I.E.L.D., and my associate here has asked me to help convince you to come with us. Coincidentally Stark has expressed an appreciation for how you turn into, and I quote him on this, 'a giant green rage monster'. Fair warning, he seeks to bamboozle you into staying in his penthouse suite in New York, since you're the only one aside from me who speaks English, according to him," said Harry dryly.

"Wait a minute...aren't you the infamous Viper of the Courtrooms?" said Bruce, finally recognizing the pin on his lapel.

"Guilty."

"So you have no interest in the Hulk. At all?" said Bruce.

"Not at the moment. If things came to a fight we might appreciate the muscle, but right at this moment we need your assistance tracking down the Tesseract more than we need something that needs anger management classes," said Harry dryly.

"I assume I'm being paid for this?" asked Bruce. He was a practical man at heart.

"Standard consultation fee, plus expenses," said Harry promptly.

"I'm in," said Bruce.

Natasha stared in disbelief. Harry was scarily good when it came to convincing people.

"I swear someday you'll convince the birds that the sky isn't for flying with that tongue of yours," she said to him.

"Give me time," said Harry chuckling darkly. Then he remembered something. He waved his hand over Bruce.

"What was that?"

"A shield so you don't have to deal with my ongoing game with the gun-happy idiots. Ask Fury or Coulson about the virus they got stuck with for taking something that wasn't theirs," said Harry grinning.

Natasha snorted.

"Fury nearly shot Coulson for that," she said amused.


	10. Chapter 10

"So Harry, how did that flight suit work out for you?" asked Tony when they returned.

"Only you would find a legend about the Ouroboros and then make a flight suit out of it," said Harry amused.

It had taken Harry some time to recognize where he had seen that winged snake biting it's tail before, but once he had it had amused him greatly.

"So about Banner..."

"If you're that desperate to get him to visit you, you can convince him yourself. However, from what I've seen he does tend to look better on people who aren't afraid of Mr. I-need-anger-management-classes," said Harry dryly.

Tony snorted.

"At least he'll be better than dealing with Stars-and-Stripes. I swear Coulson has a crush on the guy with the way his eyes light up around him," said Tony, waving him off.

"He has the entire card set from his days on the stage," said Harry.

"I knew it!" said Tony triumphantly.

"Shall I hit the _Captain_ with my favorite virus?" asked Harry grinning evilly.

Tony was snickering evilly.

"I dare you to make him watch that 'two girls one cup' video!" he begged.

"Consider it done," said Harry smirking.

* * *

Tony was howling when an hour later Steve Rogers started running for the nearest bathroom. Apparently he had seen the video and there wasn't a trash can nearby.

"What did you do?" asked Bruce.

"Not me. Harry. I had him show Rogers that 'two girls one cup' video since he was getting on my nerves while I waited for them to pick you up," said Tony snickering.

Bruce's eyes widened before he winced.

"Remind me not to piss off Harry."

"Nah, you're one of those people who are too nice to feel his bite, unless you do something really, really stupid."

"So he's never..."

"He's bitten me a few times with those fangs of his, but I can roll with the punches," said Tony, "He once hit me with this hex that turned all the alcohol within reach to water before he made it look like I had too much as a distraction."

"Why?"

"Because according to him, one midlife crisis was not an excuse for me to ruin all the work he had put into restoring my reputation," answered Tony dryly.

The door opened, revealing Harry and Natasha.

"Look alive Stark, Loki's been spotted in Germany," said Natasha.

"I'll help Dr. Banner with his calculations while Tony goes to retrieve the spoiled brat," said Harry.

Tony and Natasha choked back a laugh.

"Loki's a spoiled brat?" asked Bruce.

"That's right, you haven't been around him long enough to hear the truth. Harry's actually Loki in human form. Apparently Loki did something to really piss off Odin so he was turned into a human as punishment," said Tony.

"And he's not in a prison why?" asked Bruce. Fury didn't seem like someone who would let a source of information go like that.

"Because he's Harry right now. From what little we've heard of Loki, he's more interested in ruling Asgard and thinks humans are beneath him. Harry here is a known advocate for the rights of humans with powers and has even defended mutants without asking for anything in return. Plus he was given the chance to return to Asgard when Thor showed up, but he decided to stay here instead," said Tony.

"I prefer Earth because it's more fun. Do you have any idea how boring it is on Asgard? Everyone there is a fight-happy nut and believe that humans are lower beings because they're still evolving. I would rather watch humanity evolve than be around the immortal bores that make up the majority of Asgard," said Harry with a shrug.

Bruce blinked.

"You had a chance to return to Asgard and said no?"

"Sometime during the trial against magical Britain, Odin showed up and unlocked the normal powers being an Asgardian gives you. He also broke off part of the seal on Loki's memories. Apparently he believed that 'Loki' had finally earned his spot back in the so-called Realm of the Gods. However what he didn't count on was the fact that after seeing Loki's memories, I wanted no more part of Asgard."

"Why?"

"Loki was lied to his entire life. The entire reason he ruined Thor's ascension to King was because he believed Odin was his father and that he had an equal right to rule. Finding out that Odin wasn't his father, but in fact the one who rescued him from being abandoned as a child was a devastating blow to his psyche. He did have one thing right though... Thor is no where near ready to rule Asgard, despite all his strength. Though if I were Loki I would have used a different method than bringing Frost Giants to Asgard during the ceremony..." said Harry.

While Stark left to get his suit on, Natasha and Steve left to Germany.

"So...why are you a lawyer?"

"Something Magneto said during that Mutant Registration Act when Kelly was still a senator. He asked me if I had given an interest in being a lawyer since he figured out I was behind Jean's little speech. After thinking about it, I realized the potential amusement of becoming one and that's how I got started. Then I realized I was gathering a massive following from the people I helped and that added to my fun."

"Wait...didn't I once hear you're a follower of Loki?" asked Bruce. It had been in his biography that he had looked up.

"Was, right up until the moment I found out I _am_ Loki. Still, I find it hilarious that through _my_ actions Loki now has a bigger following these days than Thor. Especially in the magical communities," said Harry with mirth.

In England in particular, nearly everyone who studied magic was a follower of Loki, or whatever their primary religion was. Fred and George found themselves with a massive business, since they were Loki worshipers before he became popular again. They recently started setting up shops in America to supply the demand for Loki's "tributes", since Loki was also a trickster god.

Playing a prank in Loki's honor was much more socially acceptable to the people than some of the other demands 'pagan' gods asked of their followers, and even the die-hard Christians and Catholics found it hard to denounce a religion based on harmless pranks and helping others.

Of course that didn't stop Petunia and Vernon Dursley, who had to leave Surrey after people started questioning the 'tales' they gave out about Harry in his younger years.

It was hard to equate the well-spoken and highly favored barrister who brought an entire community out of the dark ages to the hoodlum they had called Harry growing up. People started asking how they could lie about him so horribly, and it wasn't long before their 'perfect' reputation was shattered.

The last Harry heard of them, Petunia was in the nut house and Vernon was in jail after they found out he was embezzling from his company. Dudley was in the worst prison imaginable after they found out that his parents had been using Harry as a cover for his own crimes, some rather sickening.

The most telling of them being the dead and mutilated bodies of some of Mrs. Figg's cats...she had been devastated.

"So if you're a lawyer how are you able to keep up with my calculations so easily?"

"Before I passed the bar exam I interned with Jane Foster. Half the reason why I live in New Mexico is so I can help with her theories."

"And the other half?"

"To see the look on her face when she realizes that yes, I've trapped her computers again."

"Trapped her..."

"You remember the comment about Coulson nearly getting shot because he brought back a virus that shows the most depraved porn on the internet? That's my work. I trapped Jane's equipment when the fool confiscated them, and by the time he learned about the virus he had already infected S.H.I.E.L.D.'s computers with the thing. I knew he was coming to take her work so I made him pay for it in spades," said Harry with an evil chuckle.

"That...is evil. Any chance I could convince you to hit General Ross with it?" asked Bruce hopefully.

"Is this the same general who keeps trying to track you down and turn you into a lab rat because of the experiment?" asked Harry. He had read up on Dr. Banner on the way to pick him up, and S.H.I.E.L.D. had quite the thorough background check on him.

"Yes. Maybe he'll leave me be if he's too busy dealing with a computer virus," said Bruce tiredly.

"Then I would be happy to help. Ruining someone's day is one of the bigger reasons why I love Earth. Planting a computer virus isn't much fun when your target is smart enough to delete it," said Harry with an evil laugh.

Plus it would be damn near impossible to hit Asgard with his favorite prank, since they didn't know what the internet was, having long since passed that stage before Loki was even born. And he couldn't get a signal from Earth to use in Asgard either.

(One of the major reasons he even stayed on Earth was the internet...he was an addict and didn't care.)

* * *

Tony was watching Loki like a hawk, trying to see whether he resembled one of his best friends at all.

While the mannerisms were familiar, there was something lacking in Loki.

"What is it that you find so fascinating about me?" asked Loki to Tony.

Rogers had noticed Tony staring at Loki as well but couldn't figure out why. Thor seemed to have an idea though.

"You'll find out soon enough. Not like I'll ruin his surprise," said Tony finally. He decided to take a nap after being called out for staring at the 'god'.

Natasha decided to throw in her two cents.

"By the way Thor, Loki's got a bigger following than you do now," she said.

Thor blinked, then laughed openly.

"Not surprising since _he_ has been rather active on Earth and I've still trying to understand you humans," he said.

Tony's half asleep gaze landed on Loki's bewildered face and he had to hold back a laugh. Oh he hoped Harry would let him record Loki's reaction to meeting him!

"Is there something Fury didn't tell me about Loki?" asked Rogers.

"You'll find out once _he_ has a chance to go at him. I don't envy Loki one bit once Viper finally has a chance to go at him."

"Viper...isn't that the name of the agent who helped you retrieve Dr. Banner?"

"Viper isn't affiliated with S.H.I.E.L.D., he's only here as a courtesy to us. He said, and I'm quoting him on this, '_I'm not stupid enough to dance to Fury's fife just because he's a paranoid son of a bitch_'," said Natasha with mirth.

Tony was snorting with laughter now.

"So have you guys figured out how to get rid of his virus yet?" smirked Tony.

"Clint and I have a permanent vaccine from it, mostly because Viper actually likes us and Clint tends to join him in pranks. Fury almost shot Coulson when he found out why the mainframe was bugged," said Natasha.

"Jane has spoken vehemently about this 'virus'. She said that she would learn how to use a gun if only to shoot Viper for it," said Thor with fondness.

"Sounds like a human I might actually like," said Loki.

He was really confused when Thor, Natasha and Tony failed to hold back a laugh at the comment.

* * *

Harry was in the cafeteria getting more coffee when Loki was brought in and passed by the lab. Natasha passed by him and smirked.

"You were right. Loki is a spoiled brat. You do realize that half of the carrier is going to be watching his reaction to when he finds out who you are," she said.

"And I'm betting Tony will be recording it for later viewing," said Harry dryly.

"That would be my guess," she agreed.

"In that case, we might as well make a show of it. Do you mind if I take your form and really surprise the brat?" asked Harry smirking. After seeing Loki face-to-face, Natasha could see the god in Harry now.

"Go for it, but please, make sure you bring a camera in addition to that pin of yours. I want front row seats to his expression," said Natasha.

Harry went two feet within Loki's staff, and the thing reacted to him.

He hadn't realized that the thing would notice him.

"Damn. Natasha, let me know when you're planning to 'interrogate' Loki will you?" asked Harry.

"Will do. I take it you're going to have a nap?"

"I would switch off with Bruce or Tony, but with that thing reacting to me..."

"Why don't we just move it then?" asked Tony. He was exhausted and so was Bruce.

Natasha waited until Harry was away from the room and in another corridor before she picked up the staff and moved it to another location. Harry came in and switched off with Tony so he could get some sleep in, and a few hours later Tony swapped with Bruce. Harry had about three hours of sleep before Natasha woke him up to take her place.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Here it is, the long awaited meeting between Loki and Harry 'Viper' Potter! Harry doesn't really pull any punches in this chapter! (BTW, there is an open poll on my profile for who gets to be paired with the Viper. The options are : Darcy, Sif and Natasha.)  
**_

* * *

"Well isn't this an honor," said Loki scathingly. He could sense Romanov's magical signature behind him.

He didn't know why half the cameras in the room were now firmly trained on him and his 'guest', but he put it down as a human thing.

"If it isn't the spoiled brat," replied 'Natasha'.

Loki twitched.

"Like I'm any better than a woman who's ledger is so stained with the blood of the innocent that it's practically gushing with it," said Loki, "Barton was most informative about your past."

Natasha twitched.

"And now I'm glad I switched places with little Miss Spider," said 'Natasha' as he dropped the illusion.

Loki stared in shock. The man before him could have passed for his twin in Asgard. His hair was held back by a hair tie in a neat ponytail, and his eyes were nearly the same shade of green as his own.

"Harry 'Viper' Potter, at your service," he said mockingly, "For the current patron god of the magical communities you are a sore disappointment, Loki of Jotunhiem."

Loki quickly schooled the rage he felt.

"And how is it that you know of me, mortal?" he sneered.

"Odin's favorite punishment," he said cryptically.

It took Loki a few moments to process that statement.

"You must be joking. Odin would never be able to banish his wayward _son_ to Earth," sneered Loki.

"I must admit, when he broke off the seal on my memories, it took me a few months to figure out what in Helheim was going on. But once I saw things from you view I realized the truth. You are a monumental _child_, Loki. I mean really, bringing the Jotuns to Asgard? Couldn't you have at least used some subtlety when you pointed out Thor's faults to the king without obtaining the throne by default? Baldur is a better ruler than you are now," said Harry flatly.

Loki flinched. How dare this _mortal_ question his actions! He knew nothing of what it was like on Asgard.

"And of course there's the fact that out of the entire palace, the only one who even tried to understand you was Frigga. I will give her credit, she at least cared about you. Odin should never have hidden your heritage from you for so long. He should have had the decency to at least tell you the truth before that monumental disaster that was Thor's coronation. And look at you now...cowering like a frightened child because you couldn't handle the full brunt of the cold hard truth," said Harry, "You, Loki of Asgard, are little more than a petulant spoiled brat that is mad because daddy decided that his true son was a better heir than you."

"SHUT UP!" shouted Loki.

"And who can blame him? Asgard is primarily a warrior's society. They could never understand one who's ability lies in magic more than strength of arms. No matter how Odin tries to spin it, you never belonged in Asgard. The throne of Asgard would have suited you ill, Loki. They never would have accepted you as their king," continued Harry ruthlessly.

(Unseen by Harry, Thor had to be held back by Steve, Bruce and Tony. He didn't like the way this was going.)

"You know nothing! I am a king!" shouted Loki.

Harry's sneer resembled his own far too much.

"A king? A king of brutes and fools who hid your true nature from you your entire life? No, the throne of Asgard is not for you. It's little more than a child's dream, a cry for attention from the man who raised you. You're so embittered by the fact that Thor was the better son that you couldn't bear the truth! Look at you now Loki! You're so wrapped up in being a _king_ that you failed to notice the truth you so desperately deny. You don't want to be king of those fools, you never did. All you've ever wanted was acknowledgment from Odin, to have him _proud_ of you as he was of Thor!"

Loki looked like a broken man. Harry was well known as a viper for a very good reason. Once he bit you, his poison stung hard and deep, and he rarely let go.

"Face facts Loki. You were raised a prince and never once saw the way the world really works. Maybe if you had to actually _work_ for that power of yours you might have become a decent man, but now your mind is too far gone in petty jealously and a child's dream to see the truth and realize that you never desired to be a king," said Harry, pity clear in his voice.

Loki collapsed on his knees. Hearing the truth in his own voice, in his own words, hurt. Harry was more than just a viper in human form, he was Loki who saw the world from a new perspective. Unlike Loki, he had grown up without all the privileges and love a Prince received. He had been raised a pauper and treated like a slave.

It had forced him to grow up before he was ready just to survive, and when that was combined with Loki's memories, it caused an unusual reaction.

It forced Loki to see his actions from an outside observer, and realize what a child he had been. Harry was a stronger man than Loki had been when Odin punished him, and he was determined to at least make Loki see reason before the cycle restarted.

Harry was planning to leave when Thor came in. He didn't look happy with Harry at the moment. Seeing the hammer, Harry decided to give Loki's so called ambition one final blow.

"Thor, could you hand me your hammer for a moment? I still need to remove the spells I put on it," said Harry.

Thor blinked, then a light of understanding came into his eyes. Loki needed to see that his actions had serious consequences. He removed the hammer from his belt and handed it over to Harry without a word. Loki's eyes went wide when he realized that his 'future' self was worthy enough to wield the hammer, when he had been unable to even lift it. Harry removed the spells he placed on it, and handed it back to Thor.

"A fine weapon, if a bit unwieldy for my tastes," he commented.

Harry left a broken Loki and concerned Thor in his wake.

* * *

"You don't pull any punches do you?" commented Tony an hour later.

"Loki was a child, so desperate for attention that he was willing to kill untold innocents. It's pathetic," said Harry, still in a foul mood.

"Still, he's pretty shaken up after that," said Tony. He had angled the cameras away from Thor and Loki to give them a semblance of privacy. From the look on Thor's face when he left the cell, what Harry had said really shook Loki to the core. The fact he _was_ Loki, and still worthy of using Thor's hammer had really stung the 'god' deep.

Tony decided to amuse Harry, if only to get rid of his bad mood.

"The gods must love stupid people, they made so many," said Tony suddenly.

Harry's eyes glinted. So he was going to play _that_ game was he?

"Earth is the insane asylum of the universe," said Harry.

"Growing older is mandatory. Growing up is optional," said Tony.

"You should know, you never grew up," said Harry, "Children are the future. Be afraid, be very afraid."

"The trouble with life is that there's no background music," said Tony.

Natasha had to jump in when she heard that.

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning," she said, eyes glinting in amusement.

Harry smirked.

"Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool," he said, nodding towards a passing Thor.

"Save the Earth, it's the only planet with chocolate," said Tony.

"You say I've lost my sanity. Well I have news for you. You can't lose what you never had," said Harry.

That got all three of them to laugh.

* * *

Harry was taking a nap when a sudden explosion threw him from the stationary cot. It had been Tony and Bruce's turn to work on the Tesseract energy, and Harry had been reeling from a sudden influx of memories since he matched eyes with Loki. Apparently coming that close to his past self had been enough to remove the rest of the block.

Now he could remember what Loki had done to anger Odin to the point of banishing from his original form, and what would happen next. At this point it was a given that the cube would open a portal, the question was damage control.

Harry went straight to the bridge and told Fury he had better start clearing out a fifteen mile radius around Stark's fancy tower, because that was where the Tessaract was.

Fury managed to give off a 'bomb threat', saying someone had rigged Stark's fancy new Arc Generator to blow and let the police start clearing out a twenty-five mile radius away from it, before Clint knocked out a second engine.

Instead of caring about what happened to Clint, Harry went to the holding cell to insure Coulson survived.

He couldn't have his second favorite target get killed by Loki after all.

Loki took one look at the one who saved Coulson from being impaled to death and winced. He still remembered the full bite of Harry's venom. He vanished before Thor could get his wits about him.

"You alright Phil?"

Coulson stared at him.

"Why did you save me?"

"And lose one of my favorite sources of entertainment?" smirked Harry.

"I swear, I don't know who's the real evil mastermind...you or your past self," said Coulson.

"Why Phil, I didn't know you thought so highly of me!" said Harry with a false tone of astonishment.

"I stand corrected...you are infinitely more evil than Loki is. Loki's a child...but you're one of the meanest lawyers in the world," said Phil dryly.

* * *

It took the team an hour to recover enough for round two, during which Phil found an interesting file on Harry.

He took one look at it and all but _begged_ Fury to let him be the bearer of the bad news. How this had slipped through the cracks during the purge of England's magical communities was a mystery but the goblins were only now catching it.

Harry took one look at the printed document and paled.

"Is this legitimate?" he asked.

"It would take the goblins _months_ to break it, during which time you would be forced to live in England until they find a way to break it," said Phil gleefully.

"Right. I need to speak to Thor for a moment," said Harry horrified.

It was a marriage contract written up between Dumbledore and Mrs. Weasly to Ginny. Harry hated Ginny and only got along with the older brothers (barring Percy of course). He couldn't stand the youngest two. It was written from his magical guardian to the legal guardian of the youngest of the Weasly brood. And until it was sorted out, Harry would be forced to endure her presence.

No way was he dealing with the ginger brat and her harpy mother.

"What can I do for you Harry?" asked Thor.

"It seems I finally have a reason to leave Earth, if only temporarily. Apparently something slipped through the cracks and I'll have to avoid the realm for a few months until it's sorted out," said Harry.

"Oh?"

"Don't ask. As a result my distaste for England and certain people outweigh my dislike for Odin and Asgard," said Harry.

"Father did say you had an open invitation to Asgard," said Thor.

"Good. I'll be staying there until this nonsense is sorted out. I am not returning to England after the headaches I left behind," said Harry flatly.

* * *

Loki was waiting in New York, still feeling the sting of the Viper's bite. He hadn't known that the name was more than a description, it was an open warning not to piss off Harry.

Still, finding out what his future held in store was not a very comforting thing. Becoming human was repugnant to him, since they were so weak compared to true gods like him.

However, the Viper's words did ring a certain truth to Loki.

Out of the entire palace, the only person who had ever been there for him without comparing him to Thor or Baldur was Frigga. She had been the one to teach him how to cast magic while Thor learned the finer points of being a musclebound idiot.

She alone had treated the two of them equally.

Perhaps he didn't hate her, but he still hated Odin for not telling him the truth.

Harry was giving Clint an upgrade for his weapons, specifically spells to do more damage once he shot his arrows and an unlimited arsenal. He had worried Clint would openly hate him because of what Loki had done to him, but Clint had used a mild prank on him instead.

Clearly, the 'Avengers' thought the two completely different. They might openly dislike Loki, but the Viper was a valued comrade and friend.

Harry got along with the Avengers, Loki was just a brat with a god complex.

Even Thor, when they talked about it later after the battle was won, said that if he hadn't recognized Loki's magical signature first he wouldn't have mistaken Harry for his cynical brother. Harry might be Loki in human form, but he was most definitely not Loki in word or deed. Loki thought many of the lesser races beneath him, Harry openly fought for their rights and freedoms.

If Thor had to chose between the two of them to be his brother, he would chose Harry every time.

* * *

Deep in the recesses of Bruce Banner's mind, the Hulk watched and waited.

He alone had recognized the puny god he had beaten so badly that Loki hadn't been able to stop Natasha from turning off the cube.

And had he been able to think past his rage and all the darker emotions Bruce forced onto him out of fear, he would have been impressed with the brief staring contest he had gotten in with the one called Viper.

Unlike anyone else, Harry hadn't treated him like a beast that needed to be chained. He had acted as though the Hulk had full control of his mental faculties and had pointed him in the direction of Thor, the only one who could fight Hulk and give him a decent work out.

Hulk had taken the hint and sparred with Thor, who hadn't realized that he could think past smashing everything.

Perhaps Harry could convince Bruce to let him out more often instead of every time they needed muscle to deal with a problem.


	12. Chapter 12

_**Sorry if I couldn't give a very humorous spin for the confrontation between Loki and Harry, but I felt that Harry calling his childish self out on the fact that he was only doing this to get Odin's attention fit the scene better. I hope the banter between Natasha, Tony and Harry made up for it!**_

* * *

Harry braced himself while the plane damn near crashed onto the street. It took him a moment to reorient himself with the ground...and to activate the suit Tony had made for him.

He had a spell that made it much easier to haul around, and Tony had asked if he could do the same for one of his suits. It would be nice to have them on hand in case of the event like the one at the race track a year ago with the mad Russian.

Harry had agreed to enchant his armor once this nonsense was over with. He had already looked up several spells to lace his armor with before, and apparently the energy from the Arc powered chest piece Tony had keeping him alive was magic-friendly enough that his suit could work with it.

Then again, Harry vividly remembered Loki's attempt to turn Stark against them, only for it to fail because Tony's life was being sustained by the same energy that the Tesseract used.

He also remembered the fact that the Chitauri weren't actually working for Loki, but another force which sought to gain the attention of Loki's daughter Hel. Thanos, the Mad Titan, was the true culprit behind Loki's sudden appearance in the research base that the cube had been held at.

True, Loki was currently being used by the corrupted mind of Thanos...but he wasn't exactly _fighting_ for control either. He needed this banishment to grow up past his petty jealousy.

Harry grinned as he heard the tones of ACDC blasting from Tony's suit. He liked music as much as Tony did, so he decided to counter Tony's rock with something he had become addicted to since he saw the movies. He blamed Darcy for dragging him to the theater when it came out.

He started blaring one of the songs from _Rio_, specifically the one where Blue first heard samba music. If he remembered right, it was called _Hot Wings_.

He was humming to the catchy music as he blasted another Chitauri with a wind spell, sending it crashing into the one ahead of it. There were very few movies who had any decent music that he would buy the soundtrack to.

He winced when he saw Thor using one of the nearby skyscrapers as a makeshift lightning rod and fry the aliens come out. Didn't that idiot know that the conductors on those things could only take so much before it fried the electronics in the building?

And with the amount of constant electricity Thor was sending out, he had little doubt that the idiot had fried everything with a chip in it that was unlucky enough to be on.

Harry's face frowned in open annoyance. As one who used a laptop damn near daily, he could empathize with the frustration those people would feel later when this was over.

His magic crackled under his hand. Memories of Loki using the Casket of the Jotuns against Heimdall came to mind for some reason. He wasn't one to ignore such an idea.

His hand flashed before him, quick as a serpent's bite.

Ice magic flared in his body before it launched itself at the vehicle before him, freezing the engines solid. It felt familiar, like an old friend come to greet him. He wasn't about to ignore such an interesting power when it could be used for good.

He could feel Thor's shocked gaze at the sight of the power of the Frost Giants, creatures he had been raised to believe were monsters, being used to defend creatures Loki would call weak.

He knew of Loki's heritage...Odin had come clean on that front shortly after Loki vanished...but this was the first real proof of that heritage.

His upbringing warred with his belief that Loki truly was his brother, before his mind settled on an answer.

Harry was Loki, a Frost Giant raised as an Aesir. Where Loki's sarcastic and biting comments came with a hint of condescension (and yes, Thor had noticed it), Harry's tongue had a more of a fond exasperation to it. When Loki insulted you, you knew that he felt that you were beneath him in so many ways. When Harry did it, you could tell that he was openly irritated but not being cruel for cruelty's sake.

Thor shook his head. Even if Harry did get Loki's Frost Giant heritage along with the Aesir one, he was still Thor's brother. Harry might have a different face and slightly altered personality, but that much had never changed. For all his faults, Thor loved Loki.

* * *

Harry landed on the parapet outside Tony's apartment. Inside Loki was in a great deal of pain from the sound thrashing Hulk had just delivered him.

Loki noticed who had landed and openly groaned.

"Come to gloat have you?"

"Why would I gloat? You were openly being used by Thanos, and the portal will soon be closed. In less than an hour, the Avengers will arrive and put you into custody until we return to Asgard."

"We?" said Loki, not even bothering to get up.

"I may have a pest of a hanger-on that has somehow acquired a marriage contract to my mortal form. I plan to hide in Asgard until it's broken," coughed Harry. Loki chuckled briefly, before his pain made itself _well_ known.

Harry cast a few healer's spells on Loki, relieving him of most of his pain.

Loki stared at him in surprise.

"Why did you heal me?" he asked in open confusion.

"You're already beaten. I find no pleasure in mocking someone when they are in true pain. Contrary to what you may believe Loki, you are not a monster in the form of an Aesir."

Loki laughed coldly.

"I am a monster. Why else would Odin cast me out that day?"

"Even now, you're still a child. Odin is a leader, but more than that he has trouble seeing the bigger picture. He's so wrapped up in being a good king that he fails to recognize the damage done by the smallest of things. When you were a child, who was it that treated you like any other boy your age? Who was it that actually gave a damn about your opinion? I know it wasn't Odin.

"Frigga..." whispered Loki.

"A mother's love knows no bounds, cannot be quantified in any measurement, and is all encompassing. Despite how you feel now Loki, Frigga was your mother in every way that actually mattered. Odin may have failed as your father, but Frigga treated you more like her son."

Loki sighed. Even now, at the brink of his defeat, he could admit that his mortal shell had a valid point. While Odin had always favored Thor above him in all the ways that actually counted to a child, Frigga had genuinely cared. She had been the one to teach him the ways of magic, who had given him his love of pranks.

"Odin...is a decent king, but a good father he is not," said Loki finally.

Harry nodded in agreement. Hearing the roar of the Tony fly past the room, he helped Loki sit up.

"Would you like a memory that will actually cheer you up?" he asked.

"What memory would that be?"

"Thor having his ass handed to him for being an idiot," said Harry cheerfully.

Loki's laugh was a little less cynical.

"Now that I would _pay_ to see!"

Harry grinned, before he channeled his magic into Loki.

Loki watched the first confrontation between Harry and Thor, and honestly laughed at the sight of his musclebound 'brother' being thrown on his back before being knocked out with the same element he wielded so carelessly. It was a small bit of light in the darkness he knew was coming.

"Tell me, Viper...how bad was it? The banishment?"

"It was pretty irritating at first...but once we were taken to a magic school it got a little better. Then when we left Britain things only kept going up. When Magneto suggested I become a lawyer, a lot of things fell into place. Did you know humans have a job where they _pay_ people to get them out of trouble for the stupid stunts they've pulled?"

"Truly?" said Loki grinning.

"They call such people 'lawyers'. It's basically the same thing we did every time Thor got into trouble with Odin. They call me the Silvertongue Viper because of the fact that I can smooth talk anyone out of the trouble they've caused, and people actually thank me for it! The best part is when you twist their history against them...humans are so tied up into their history that it's nearly impossible to go around it. And because of our silver tongue, we have several magical societies who openly ask for our favors instead of Thor!"

Loki's eyes were wide at that.

"People actually worship me over Thor?" he said in shock.

Harry chuckled.

"I was a follower of Loki before I found out that I was you, simply in a new form. It was rather confusing for a while, but it made spreading your name among the magicals that much easier... people enjoy it when their 'gods' give favorable results. If Loki's 'favored' is responsible for bringing them into the modern era and giving them so many new and fascinating things, then they will flock to you in droves. If Loki, not Thor, was responsible for bringing an entire group of magicals out of poverty and into homes, then they will worship you until the end of their days," said Harry.

It was kind of frightening how rabid some of his 'worshipers' were. If it wasn't for the fact that "Loki" didn't demand ritual sacrifice, only a prank or two played every month, he had little doubt it would be a cult by modern standards. As it was, the religion of Loki was considered not only an acceptable one, but was openly encouraged.

If Thor was favored by the mundane mortals, Loki was considered the god to go to by the magicals.

Loki noticed the Avengers coming in, and knew that his time was up. Any chance of escape would be hopeless, he was still in too much pain to move that fast.

"Any messages for after your banishment?" asked Harry lowly.

"Tell Frigga...no, tell my mother that I am sorry for all the heartache I caused her," he replied in the same tone.

* * *

_In New Mexico..._

Ginny Weasly was on a mission. She was to find Harry and bring him back to England so they could be married. Her mother had the entire wedding planned, despite the fact that they only recently were able to get the muggle government off their backs about the fact that they technically couldn't afford their home.

Fred and George had helped out when they could...right up until the goblins found that marriage contract. They couldn't drop their mother fast enough when they heard about it. Now their names and their shop was considered as taboo in the Weasly home as Percy was.

And Percy had flourished once given the chance with the new Ministry.

His anal-retentive habits had made him quite popular once he got his wand out of his ass about the muggles.

There was another change. They were no longer allowed to call the muggles by that name. It had to be mundanes or normals. Muggleborns were now called first gen instead, and anyone caught calling them mudbloods were thrown in jail for three days and heavily fined.

Ginny ignored the wards around Harry's home...she was a powerful witch and the seventh daughter of a seventh daughter. Molly was just the only daughter to survive the purge of Voldemort's reign.

She didn't bother to knock, but opened the door.

What greeted her was a sobering sight.

This wasn't a home...it had to be the place he apparated to his house in peace. The window next to the bed was broken for Merlin's sake! She cast a repairing charm, wondering how her Harry could live in such squalor with all the money he had made off of the wizards in Europe.

It took her an hour to realize that her initial assumption was way off.

For one thing their wasn't even a trace of food, and the oven and burners didn't even work! The bed had never been slept in, yet she had found Harry's magic on the door. And the less said about the bathroom the better.

Her mind raced. How could Harry live in this piece of trash?

The answer hit her like Thor's thunderbolts.

He didn't. This was just a disguise for his real home. She cast a few revealing charms, and it took her a moment to realize what they were telling her.

There was no fridge because it had been moved to make way for a large box that neatly fit in the hole. This box was so big that it went from the floor to the ceiling and since the fridge was right in front of the door and the cabinets above them destroyed and fixed to leave room for the box itself.

She exited the trailer and realized what Harry had done.

He had used the trailer as a cover for his actual house, which clearly had been enchanted much the way a magical tent was. Very clever, but then again that was Harry. He hid behind a soft spoken boy until he revealed his viper's tongue...he had everyone in Hogwarts fooled until the day he put Malfoy in his place and took full control of Slytherin.

Which begged the question...where was Harry's actual house?

* * *

Harry shivered again.

"Why do I get the feeling one of those damn harpies has found their way to my house?" he muttered. He had been feeling like something horrible had breached his wards around his 'home' which was little more than a shell for his actual house.

Only a magical would recognize what he had done, and the fact that the trailer was little more than a cover for a very large enchanted box that he lived in. Why the Weaslys never considered applying the enchantments used in a magical tent to their ramshackle home, he had no idea.

Loki looked at his mortal shell in open amusement.

With his impending banishment, Loki had found time much easier to deal with by sharing his acid wit against Harry's viper tongue.

It wasn't uncommon to see the two trade barbs, or to see the Avengers watching each ripost like one would a tennis match. Even Thor would have his head follow who had said what with the fascination and thinly disguised horror one would give a horrible train wreck.

It would be another three days before Tony and Selvig finished the container, and it would be quite some time before Jane would even allow Thor to share her bed after Harry had brought her to Tony's apartment one night so they could work on a way for them to make a smaller bifrost.

He was _not_ staying on Asgard for six months. He didn't care if that meant humans would make their way to Asgard, he wanted a quick way to travel back and forth.

He had already found a way to get his phone and laptop to work on Asgard and connect to Earth. He wasn't living without his internet addiction.

(Well, that and he was fully prepared to prank Phil Coulson should he dare to give Thor a copy of the marriage contract that was forcing Harry to leave Earth in the first place.)


	13. Chapter 13

By the time Ginny Weasly located Harry Potter, he was already traveling by Bifrost to Asgard.

Loki was unsurprised at the guards that were sent to keep him in check while they went to the palace. Harry had already thrown on a disillusion charm since he didn't want anyone to know of his existence just yet. Thor openly grinned when he noticed Harry had his flight suit on and was flying ahead of them. With the charm it would be impossible for the turrets to lock onto him, and Harry had openly said he was_ not_ riding a bloody horse.

Harry watched as Loki was banished to Earth as an infant, and sent a small amount of magic to comfort his past self. He would need it in the days to come. Once that was done Odin address Harry directly.

He had already removed his flight suit the moment they reached the palace. Now he just had to remove his charm.

Frigga gasped in surprise when she saw the near identical copy of her banished son. The main difference was that Harry had actual warmth in his eyes instead of the cold condescension that dominated Loki's gaze.

"Harry Potter. It is good that you've finally decided to grace these halls," said Odin.

"Not by choice, I assure you. While I must thank you for removing the blocks on my powers and allowing me to regain my true memories, I am not exactly thrilled to be back," said Harry.

Frigga wasn't the only one confused.

"I must admit my confusion. Have we met before?" she asked.

Harry turned to look at her, and she saw Loki in his eyes.

"Hello mother. It appears that unlike Thor, my mortal shell seems to have decided to simply take on some of my characteristics instead of reverting back to my original form," he said calmly.

"Loki? But you were just banished!" said Sif in open confusion.

"I was. Into the middle of a civil war between sorcerers I might add," he drawled, "However Odin seems to believe I've redeemed myself enough that I was allowed to regain my true memories."

Thor spoke up.

"Harry," he stressed the name, "Is the mortal form of Loki. However unlike my brother he seems to understand that his silver tongue and powers are to be used in the defense of others rather than for himself. He is considered a champion of the outcasts and those that society would normally consider monsters."

"I'm known as the Viper for a reason you idiot. If it wasn't for the fact that fool of mortal seeks to control me from beyond Helhiem's gates, I wouldn't have even bothered returning at all," said Harry irritably.

Thor suddenly grinned.

"You mean because of this?" he said. He brought out a few sheets of printed paper that Phil had so generously given him as blackmail material.

Harry swore under his breath, before he whipped out his phone and sent a text to Clint. By this time tomorrow Phil would be a woman for the next month. A light ping told him that the message was received.

"Blasted Coulson. I hope he enjoys squatting to use the loo for the next month," grumbled Harry.

"Tell me Harry Potter... Will you take Loki's title since he was banished?" asked Odin.

"I'll take his place, since we are one and the same. The only difference is that Loki was a monumental child and I at least acknowledge that being a Frost Giant's son doesn't automatically make me a monster. Besides, unlike Loki I know for a fact the mortals are more interesting than Aesir. For example..."

Thor only have a brief moment's warning from Harry's tone before Harry tossed him and had him pinned. Sif and many other warriors stared in disbelief. Harry, no Loki, was so slight! How had he tossed _Thor_ of all people?!

"That, you lumbering oaf, is for bringing that thrice-cursed document with you!" said Harry annoyed. Thor laughed openly.

* * *

It was a rather...awkward...dinner with the banishment of Loki and Harry taking his place. Fortunately for all involved, Harry was more interested in the library than dealing with anyone just yet.

It helped that he had gone directly to the kitchens instead of the tables, and that Odin planned to announce what had happened officially in a few days.

Frigga had approached him once he had more or less settled into his old rooms.

"Come in," called Harry.

She entered, and noticed the slight changes in the room itself, for one thing, Harry had organized the books according to subject and some were no longer being used as coasters.

"Hello Frigga."

"I have to say, I'm surprised at the change in your personality Loki. Or do you prefer Harry?" she asked.

"Either is fine, though I mostly go by Harry. I have seen Loki's life through another's eyes, and I was sorely disappointed. He was such a monumental child, though I find it hard to pin _all_ the blame on him. Odin should have told him once he was old enough about his real heritage the moment he was able to understand things. Leaving it until the last possible moment, and during a time when his identity was thrown into utter chaos...was a spectacular blunder on his part. Most of that mess could be laid on him choosing that precise moment to reveal his true heritage. It devastated Loki and made him believe he was a true monster," said Harry.

Frigga looked upset and rightly so. Harry was unaware Odin was actually outside the door listening in, though it was doubtful he would have actually cared.

"The family I was banished to were good people...however my mortal mother's family weren't. For ten years after Lily and James were murdered by that sociopath I was raised to believe I was a freak and treated like a slave just because of my magic. However some of my memories of Loki did bleed through, tempering those lies enough that I didn't turn out even worse than Loki did when he found out the truth. Eventually I found an acceptable outlet for my frustration, and here we are today."

If Frigga had been upset before, she was horrified now.

"Where are these...mortals...that raised you as such?" she asked.

Harry...no this was pure Loki...smirked.

"One is in the nut house, little more than a raving madwoman and her husband and son are in the worst prison imaginable for their various crimes. For people who claim to be 'normal' it was the harshest punishment the Queen of England could give them once she learned of my upbringing before then. It helped that I fixed a growing problem by forcing their magical society out into the open legally," he said smugly.

That tempered Frigga's rage.

"I'm sorry you went through so much heartache."

"Once the memory block broke while I was getting my revenge on the buffoon who engineered most of my suffering because of some fake prophecy, I was able to put things into a better perspective. Loki will have a harder life, but I assure you he will come out better for it once he finds an outlet for his energy. Did you know he's now more popular than Thor is with the magicals of Midgard?" said Harry.

Frigga couldn't help her smile.

"I see that some things have not changed about you," she said warmly.

"It helps that the mortals actually have a job that puts my poisonous tongue to good use. I am called a Viper because when I bite, my poison goes straight to the quick. You should have seen Loki when I finally had a chance to chat with him. I actually got him to think about his actions, though the fact I can actually lift the hammer and he couldn't was a powerful blow to his ego," said Harry.

"Including allowing the Jotuns into Asgard?" she asked quietly.

Harry rolled his eyes.

"Loki was correct when he believed Thor wasn't ready to lead as King just yet, particularly during a peaceful time such as the worlds had been at the time, however his method was flawed. He should have been a bit more subtle and less foolish by allowing the Frost Giants into the vault," said Harry flatly.

Frigga looked shocked at his assessment. That was borderline treason!

"Like I said, a different perspective. Thor was an arrogant braggart, as shown by his actions after the Jotuns were killed. Loki never intended to take the throne, but the shock of Thor's banishment and the sudden knowledge that he wasn't Odin's real son caused that monumental mess that I will likely help in cleaning up later. Loki only ever wanted Odin to be as proud of him as he was of Thor."

Frigga looked saddened. What Harry said was indeed true. Loki had always wanted Odin's approval, but that had never happened.

"He did have a message for you though. One he never got the chance to say before Odin banished him," said Harry.

"What message?"

"I'm sorry mother, for all the heartache I've caused you. Out of everyone in this palace, you were the only one who truly cared for Loki as your own son," said Harry.

"Thank you. It heartens me to know that in the end Loki was able to acknowledge his faults," said Frigga.

"It probably helped that I pretty much bit his head off beforehand and made him confront he cold hard truth that he was being a spoiled brat," chuckled Harry, "Though it also helps Tony was kind enough to give me a copy of the video in the room."

"Oh?"

"If you wish to see Loki properly chastised by himself, you can watch it later. I have it on good authority that some of the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents have been watching it from time to time for amusement...when I'm not busy trapping their systems with horrifying videos of human depravity," chuckled Harry.

The best part was that Harry never _watched_ the videos he trapped their computers with...he just set his magical virus to find the things and force the computers to drag it up in a separate tab on their browsers.

Frigga chuckled. Loki was still a prankster, he was just less cruel.

"I do believe Sif expressed an interest in...how did she put it? 'The stick putting Thor in his place'," said Frigga.

"Oh she's going to love this... Whenever I become very bored on Midgard I learned a new style of fighting. Very therapeutic. I do believe she will enjoy the ability to throw Thor on his arse despite the fact he's bigger than she is," said Harry gleefully.

"She might enjoy seeing that."

"I'm more interested in the reaction she'll have to the fact I actually listen to music now when I fight. A habit I picked up from Tony," said Harry.

"Oh? What sort of music?"

Harry grinned.

"I think you might appreciate this particular brand of music... I believe the mortals call it 'Celtic', or as close to it as you can get while speaking English..."

And so Harry and Frigga bonded all over again. As he suspected, Frigga became a fan of Celtic music...it didn't hurt that the first song he played was from the movie _Brave_, and it was the song that was written about the Queen and her errant daughter reconnecting despite the fact that pride had gotten in the way.

(The song is _Into the Open Air_, in case you were wondering. Love it!)

* * *

Sif was confused. Harry (Viper) was Loki, and yet at the same time he wasn't. Loki was an arrogant, cruel prankster who pretty much disliked everyone and barely tolerated Thor.

Harry was someone who didn't give a damn about the Aesir's opinions of the fact he was Loki given new form, or the shocked looks he garnered by openly beating Thor frequently in the sparring ring using mortal combat techniques he picked up. And when he used his verbal barbs, they were generally laced with tolerance and occasionally cynical humor.

Thor honestly didn't see Harry as anything but Loki, and it showed. He took Harry's insults with a grain of salt and never seemed to notice the times Harry slapped him on the back of the head for doing something stupid.

Harry was a puzzle, one she didn't know whether she should crack or not.

"Are you going to quit skulking about wondering if you should confront me or are you going to keep pretending you aren't curious as to why Loki suddenly became tolerable?" deadpanned Harry with a snarky tone. Sif twitched towards her sword on a reflex, mostly because he had snuck up behind her which she _hated_.

She turned to face the current Trickster god.

"I'm amazed you noticed I was observing you at all," she replied.

"Unlike Thor, I am not an idiot nor am I blind. Anyone who has spent more than a few hours with you since Loki was banished and returned in a new body would have seen you were dying to find out why I've changed and suddenly become easier to be around," said Harry flatly.

Sif admitted his point. Despite all that had happened, Loki's wit was still the same, even if the tone had changed. She didn't trust him though.

"I can see by the look on your face that you still don't trust this transformation, or if Loki can be trusted because of what he's done."

"As you have said, you are very observant."

"It helps that I'm more or less paid to get idiots out of trouble and that observing facial queues tends to make it easier to rip others apart. Nevertheless, the mortals do have one thing right. Actions speak louder than words. I'll not waste my time trying to convince you I can be trusted when you're naturally suspicious of Loki in general."

Sif was really confused. This sounded like Loki, but he had a much more mature outlook. The old Loki would have tried to slither into their good graces with half-lies and promises that had more than they bargained for later.

Harry was not Loki. If he couldn't gain their trust through words, then he would let his actions speak for him.

"If you truly want to get to know me, I do tend to practice some of the hand-to-hand forms I picked up on Midgard in one of the abandoned training areas," said Harry, leaving her standing there.

Sif watched him leave, her opinion of Harry already improving. He was different, that one.


	14. Chapter 14

_**Okay, since I've been getting questions as to whether Loki is coming back, the answer to that is no. When Voldemort hit Loki's mortal shell with the killing curse, he almost removed the soul of Harry Potter. The end result was that Loki, who wasn't awake just yet, **_**absorbed****_ what remained of Harry's soul and they merged. The current Harry is simply Loki forced to grow up as Harry without knowing who he really was until Odin brought his powers back. Harry is more or less Loki with a human's conscience. He has all the powers and abilities of an Asgardian, but with the creativity and mindset of a human._**

_**Also, the current lead for Harry/Loki's pairing is Sif, with Natasha a strong second. I hope that clears a few things up.**_

Harry's first test with Sif and the Warrior's three came when news of unrest reached them from the other realms. With the recently repaired Bifrost, Harry had volunteered to join them in battle.

(He was very bored and Asgard wasn't that interesting to an Aesir who grew up there.)

Harry not only helped Thor and worked together with him, but to the shock of Thor's closest friends he used Mjolnir as a weapon...rather awkwardly because he was unused to the hammer's weight, but there mere fact he was able to lift it at all spoke volumes of his character.

Thor's beloved hammer was notorious for being very finicky about who it allowed to wield it.

There was also the fact (to the bafflement of Sif who had noticed it in the first place) that Harry was actually _humming_ as he struck down the enemy.

When she asked Thor about it, he had laughed and said that it was something Harry had picked up from being around Tony for too long. She had no idea that Tony Stark had the habit of listening to music during fights to kill boredom. Harry had picked that up because he had spent months since the infamous trial which got the American government off Tony's case about the suit as one of his rare actual friends.

Thor had to actually drag a grumbling Harry to the victory celebrations, mostly because he knew that his brother would end up in the library if he didn't.

Harry didn't _like_ spending time with the Asgardians. He felt that they were rather boring as a people. They were so self-assured that they were superior that they had grown complacent. There was a reason why he would rather be on Midgard, Coulson's revenge for making him a woman with a well placed prank (via Natasha's subtle dosing a cup of coffee) for an entire month notwithstanding.

Harry took Thor's no so subtle hints that he needed to loosen up with practiced grace...he dealt with _Tony_ regularly after all.

He traded half-hearted barbs with Thor, who didn't seem to mind.

Sif however, was observing Harry. Harry, who was Loki but not.

Thor openly admitted that while Harry was in fact his brother (mostly because he was Loki in another form) he was not Loki entirely. Yet he still called him brother despite that fact.

Sif did not trust him, if only because he had been Loki before he became Harry.

Though finding out he could use the hammer had done much to at least give him the chance to prove he wasn't an evil bastard as his previous self was.

"I do believe Lady Sif has a crush on you, son," said Frigga in a tone mothers everywhere used when they were openly amused by their children. She enjoyed the fact that Harry allowed her to call him son openly, something Loki had been unwilling to do a few years before Thor was to ascend to the throne instead of him.

"I believe it's less of a crush and more of a suspicion that I am merely trying to worm my way into everyone's good graces before I betray everyone again," said Harry dryly.

"Allow your mother a few moments of self delusion please," she said amused.

"I am many things, but delusional is not one of them. Loki was a child of the worst sort, and he damaged quite a few bridges that I am only starting to repair. Tales of me using Thor's hammer, inexpertly due to inexperience, but still using it, are already circulating around Asgard. The more I act as part of Thor's group, the higher the chance people will start to open up, or at least quit shunning me behind my back," said Harry, "But, I will admit his spellwork was second to none on Asgard."

He held up a hand to stall Frigga's denial of the truth.

"I am no stranger to being the subject of idle curiosity from sheep. And thanks to the area I was banished in, I got plenty of practice learning to ignore their muttering behind my back. I find it easier to tally the bad and come up with an appropriate response later," said Harry flatly.

"Harry," sighed Frigga.

"I am called the Viper for a reason mother. A viper does not strike at the first barb, but lies in wait for the perfect moment. If the comments do not stop when I prove I am not the same man I was before, then they'll at least learn to keep their words to themselves once I unleash the full brunt of my barbs on them. Loki got a very strong taste of it on the helicarrier, and I heard from Fury that Thor had to be held back by three others because he didn't like the fact I was giving Loki a taste of cold, hard reality."

Frigga and Odin had watched the 'video' and had come out a little wiser. Harry had struck hard and deep at Loki. It had hurt Odin to see his son so broken when confronted by the truth in his own words and voice. It had also come as a nasty reminder that even the king wasn't perfect, because he had come to realize that all Loki had ever wanted was for him to show the same pride that he showed in Thor, and in the end he never even got that much.

It was little wonder Harry had only come back to Asgard as the lesser of two headaches. Or why he wasn't exactly a fan of Odin.

Harry was absolutely _bored_. Thor had left hours ago with his companions (he had been sleeping at the time) and he had nothing to _do_. On Midgard he would at least have something to occupy his time. Learning a new martial art, a new language, some new magic.

But on Asgard they had quit trying to improve and it was dead _boring_.

Harry hated being so stagnated.

His eyes fell on his helmet, which held the majority of his A.I. (not JARVIS, but a new one that Tony had affectionately called Gabriel after stumbling across a show called _Supernatural_ in which Loki was actually a rogue arch angel. He rather liked it.) and an idea came to him.

He had seen the ships that most Asgardians used instead of private planes, and had wondered why they didn't have a smaller version.

He was decently versed in technology, a by-product of being around Tony in inventor mode too long, and it was more interesting than going into the library for the umpteenth time.

Mind made up, Harry immediately dove into the numerous stacks of books to find the blue prints for the original ships.

Frigga was amused at the state of her son's room. Where it had been all but dominated by random books, it now held a cursing Harry and what appeared to be parts from one of the glider ships that the guard used to get around when they didn't use horses or walked.

"May I inquire as to what is on your mind?" she asked.

"Making it smaller. I hate the fact that Asgard is so assured of it's superiority that they don't bother to invent anything new anymore," he said sourly.

Harry took his tool and started to put some of the parts together. However he found himself with a stumbling block.

He was missing a part and the only thing that looked remotely similar was too small to fit.

Hence why he was less than pleased at the moment. He didn't want the maids to clean this up by mistake, and he had a process.

"I am curious why you haven't simply enlarged the piece you require," asked Frigga.

Harry blinked. He looked tempted to bang his head against something.

"Damn wizard's stupidity must be catching..." he muttered. Snapping his fingers, the piece enlarged to the correct size he needed. It fit almost perfectly and he found the steering column working finally.

Now he needed to make it less bulky...he snapped his fingers again and the mechanism shrunk to a much more manageable size. It could fit on a small board, which had been his original intent.

Frigga had nothing better to do, so she located a free chair and piped in occasionally when he looked like he needed advice. She was no creator by any means, however this proved to be most interesting.

The old Loki wouldn't have considered creating something out of already existing technology to kill boredom.

"So what exactly sparked this?" she asked.

"Personally I blame Stark. Anyone of reasonable intelligence and free time would be inclined to make something new after several of his rather irritating invention rants," said Harry offhandedly.

Frigga decided that if she ever met this Tony Stark (someone who Thor had mentioned more than once and had clearly befriended her sons) she would thank him for being so kind to Loki.

It took Harry the better part of a week, but eventually he had a working prototype finished.

Thor, curious what his brother had been doing while he had been off killing things, took one look at the device and shook his head amused. Tony had definitely rubbed off on his brother more than he had believed. Then again he was the first human Harry had genuinely called his best friend, well out of earshot of the raving idiot of course. Jane was a good friend, but Harry and Tony tended to rub off on each other without realizing it.

"So...who wants to test it out?" he asked smirking.

Thor backed away quickly. He trusted Harry, but he wasn't going to fly that thing.

"Coward," said Harry good naturedly.

Harry firmly put his foot on the board and carefully kicked the start lever. The device hummed under his feet, but since he had spent the better part of four years flying on a _broom_ and occasionally doing insane stunts, he was used to such things.

He carefully tested out the flying skateboard (as Tony would definitely call it once he saw it, knowing him) he found it moved fine, but it was difficult to direct with just his balance. He firmly kicked the accelerator, and the thing shot off like a rocket.

The steering column, which he had pilfered from one of the ships being repaired without anyone knowing, jerked up and flew to his waiting hand.

Harry wasn't an idiot. He knew better than to fly past a certain speed with only his feet keeping him attached. Once the board hit a certain point the manual steering 'wheel' would spring up allowing for better control.

Considering the yelp from Thor and Frigga when he performed a rough Wronski Feint, he had done too good a job. He made a somewhat smooth landing and had to deal with a worried Frigga.

"It's bad enough Thor is reckless when he's flying! What in Helheim were you thinking?" she chastised. Thor was enjoying this far too much.

"I'm thinking that I might have to tweak the steering. It's workable but the movements are far too jerky," he said evenly. He planned to ask the people in charge of repairing the current ships for advice.

Frigga didn't seem happy about that answer one bit.

"Don't tell me you plan to do that insane stunt again!" she said horrified.

An evil plan hatched in Harry's mind. One he had been dying to try ever since he saw the interactions with Loki and Frigga. Having never experienced a mother's love in Harry's body, he had savored all the instances he had felt as Loki. It was why he had picked up on the fact she genuinely cared about him.

"What if I could prove I could handle such tricks without the use of a known device or the flight suit?"

Frigga looked doubtful, though Thor seemed to pick up on the mischief he had in mind.

"You wouldn't," he said grinning.

"Oh yes I would," he answered flatly.

"Do I want to know?" she asked.

"Probably not, though it will be infinitely entertaining for me and Thor later," said Harry smirking.

Once he had some advice on how to improve his 'flying skateboard' from the engineers, he decided a prank was in order.

He went through his things and found the improved broom that had taken the place of the Firebolt four years ago. It was called the Cloudskimmer. It went twice as fast as a Firebolt and had improved charms on it.

Harry had long since found out the basic spells used to make a broom fly, along with the potion that was required.

Being obscenely rich by magical and mundane standards had it's perks.

Thor caught what was in Harry's hand and smirked. He had seen him fly once before, back before he had regained his powers and it had openly amused him that Loki, who had disliked flying because he had associated it with past experiences involving Thor and a few bad pranks, was now an open lover of the art.

Thor wasn't a fan of brooms though. Mostly because the one time Harry had let him try flying that way he had felt his manhood bounce the wrong way and caused him to be in immense pain for hours after.

Darcy had laughed herself sick when she found out what happened.

"What are those?"

"Simple prank potions that will only last for an hour. I intend to get a little payback for the idiots who've been badmouthing me ever since I came back. It won't harm them, but it will embarrass them rather badly," said Harry.

"How badly?"

"Let's just say the Son of Coul wasn't the first victim of a gender switching prank and leave it at that."

Thor laughed at the idea.

Odin was concerned about the yelling he heard, and the fact Harry hadn't been seen for hours. There was also the fact Thor was far too amused and seemed to be in on what he could only assume was a prank.

Finally he located his eldest son and demanded an explanation. Thor simply pointed up and Odin blinked in disbelief.

There, riding what appeared to be a broomstick, was Harry. And he was armed with what looked like odd potions.

"Dare I ask?"

"Payback. Not everyone is as accepting as I or mother about Loki's sudden return and change of heart, and he was bored enough to brew minor prank potions. He's simply teaching those who have been speaking ill against him a small lesson in 'learning to keep their mouths shut' according to him."

"And the broom?" asked Odin.

"Apparently the Midgard sorcerers have found a way to enchant brooms to fly with. He was introduced to the idea while he was mortal, and found that he rather liked it. When he regained his memories it managed to undo the dislike he had gained as Loki for the art."

"What is it like?"

"Interesting, though I would swear to Valhalla and back that I will never use it as a mode of transport and that riding a bucking horse is less painful," said Thor wincing.

Odin gave him a look.

Harry, having overheard that comment, floated down long enough to explain with an evil smirk.

"Thor was unlucky enough to catch a bit of turbulence and since he was unused to flying via a broom it landed in a particularly painful area. Idiot should have stayed below the cloud line like I warned him."

"I am well accustomed to flying!" said Thor hotly.

"Flying with that hammer of yours, not with a broom. You need a gentle touch to truly master broom flight, and you damn near brained yourself when you attempted to regain control and almost broke the broom I lent you," said Harry smugly...then he added "And that's not counting the sheer _pain_ you were in when the next bout of turbulence caused the broom itself to buck under you and hit your balls in the most painful way it could."

"We agreed never to speak of that again!" said Thor.

"No, you asked that we never speak of it again after Darcy was through laughing her ass off. I never agreed to keep my silence on the matter," said Harry smirking.

Odin was chuckling at the story.


End file.
